Can you believe I didn't know?

I used to wrestle and tickle my younger cousin. I remember during these time I use to put mouth on his breast. He was 4-5 and I was 14. At that age I didnt' even know what molestation was, and I didn't have sexual intent in doing so. But oh boy, as I grown man now I truly understand the gravity of what I've done. For him & I. I don't want to live but I use places like this as an outlet so I can keep going. My whole family knows now and I'm sure they hate me. Can anyone relate? Is it believable when I say had I known better, I woudn't have done that? Give me honest feedback.

Was this even molestation? It's not at all clear from your post. kids do weird things sometimes.