Was it rape? If it wasn't then why?

I'm sorry for posting too much on this forum. I posted here about a week ago. I have hard time understanding if my case was rape or not. Can I be labeled as a rapist? Not long ago I thought it's only rape when there's a violent physical contact between genitals. Now I'm not sure. I found the definition of rape on the official FBI website:

Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim

And for me it sounds like it was rape. So now whenever I see someone saying "All rapists should be dead/in hell/eliminated" I understand the hatred and I would like to agree but I also sometimes get so distressed by this as I'm one myself (so maybe I am?). Snaga wrote in the comments under my post that "it wasn't rape", but I still struggle to understand why it wasn't
Here's the link to my post:
https://www.psychforums.com/remorse/topic224820.html#p2316255

Since the existing topic is where we need to continue conversation, and the link is provided, this subject is locked- other members, please direct all replies to the main thread, thanks