Don't know if this is the right place to post this but looking for some advice. Hey everyone, was wondering if you could help me to understand something that has really been stressing me out. Looking for honest answers.
Well, here it is. A short while ago, was sleeping over at my girlfriend’s apartment when I squeezed her breast and dry humped her as she was asleep. I believe my actions were both conscious and intentional. It is possible I was very groggy/half asleep because it was very early morning and I certainly don’t remember any premeditation, but when I awoke, I felt guilty because I know that people who are asleep cannot consent. I told her about this and she was very forgiving/dismissive as she knows I don’t want to hurt her and our relationship has been very respectful and loving up to this point.
After this I became extremely worried that I had sexually assaulted her and began wondering if there were any other times where I had done something bad not remembered. I asked her and she insists I had never made her do anything that she did not want to do but I did remember one time when I asked her if she wanted me to perform oral sex on her and she said no (we are both religious and trying to save ourselves to some degree). I remember kissing along her torso and kissing the spot directly above her vagina after she said this, which in retrospect seems like pushing a boundary.
I am extremely sorry for what I have done, I would do anything to take my actions back. All I want is to be a good person, but I feel like a scum bag that is taking advantage of her.
What should I do?