Our partner

Extreme regret over horrible thing I did at 14

Open Discussions about Remorse Issues.

Moderator: sprock

Extreme regret over horrible thing I did at 14

Postby Reirog » Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:46 pm

When I was 14-15 I sexually abused my sister who was 7-8. This abuse included touching private parts and dry-humping. Altough at that age my sister was not morally able to give consent, she did not oppose this actions either. I am now almost 18 and as the years passed I began to realize how disgusting this actions were. Over the years i have also become a big feminist and researched sexual abuse and its consequences for victims and it kills me to think that my sister may one day go trough that stuff. A while ago I tried to talk with my sister about it and to explain to her that what we did was very wrong and to apologize, she did not seem bothered but I dont think she understands it yet.
I am afraid that one the day the truth of what we did will get out, but that's my smallest concern. My main concerns are: how can I live knowing that I may have seriously hurt my sister and can I ever be forgiven for what I did?
It would really help if someone has any advise.
Reirog
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 4:57 pm
Local time: Tue Sep 29, 2020 4:49 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Abused my sister at 14, help

Postby Reirog » Mon Sep 14, 2020 9:25 pm

When i was 14-15 i sexually abused my sister who was 7-8 at the time. It happened 2-3 times over the span of a week. It included touching private parts and dry-humping, and altough at that age she was not morally able to consent, she did not object to what we were doing. I suffered a lot of bullying when i was younger and was exposed to porn at a young age and maybe that contributed to this sexual problems that i had (im not trying to make excuses, this was just something i heard was possible but i have no confirmation that it may be related to it). I am now almost 18 and i am feeling miserable thinking about what i did and i cannot let it go. Over the years i became a big feminist which led me to do research on sexual abuse and its consequences on victims and it kills me to think that i may have sentenced my own sister to those things. I talked to her about it some time ago to explain that what we did was very wrong and to apologize to her, but she seemed to not want to talk about it and i think she doesnt understand the gravity of it yet. I need help. How can i live knowing that i was exactly what i now hate and despise (a sexual abuser)?. Im also afraid that she tells someone what we did , but most of all im afraid she will be forever hurt by what i did to her. I never looked at any other child that way, neither did i look at her that way.We still have a great relationship and love each other very much (in a brotherly way) I cannot explain why i did what i did that week and thats awful. I hope anyone here can help me, please.
Last edited by Snaga on Tue Sep 15, 2020 2:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: merged into existing thread no other changes- add'l information pertinent to thread
Reirog
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 4:57 pm
Local time: Tue Sep 29, 2020 4:49 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Extreme regret over horrible thing I did at 14

Postby sprock » Fri Sep 18, 2020 4:15 pm

I will admit this is a tricky situation since there is a notable age difference between yourself and your sister. I do think, however, it is important to remember that your brain (and moral development) are still very much in flux until one's early to mid 20s. As such, in a very real sense you are a different person now to who you were. Maybe you can see turning 18 as a line in the sand, leaving the actions of your child self in your childhood, while being mindful that if your sister ever feels differently about your behaviour, you should take whatever accountability she asks of you. The main thing is to put her needs first and to not insist upon her feeling weird or upset about what you did if she doesn't feel that way.
sprock
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 1171
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:17 am
Local time: Tue Sep 29, 2020 4:49 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Remorse




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: blueocean2005 and 12 guests