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*TW* Guilt and shame over *edit*?

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*TW* Guilt and shame over *edit*?

Postby anon3 » Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:02 pm

TRIGGER WARNING

I have lately been feeling really guilty, ashamed and disgusted about myself over an act of *edit* that I committed when I was (Mod edit, age removed). I was home and alone and I was feeling really horny and with me being a virgin I got a bit curious as to what a BJ would feel like and for some bizarre reason I thought that I could find out from having my dog lick me. I went over to my dog and got my penis out but he didn’t want to lick it or anything so I looked to see if there was anything I could put on it for him to lick off and I was able to find some mayonnaise. I put a bit on my penis and my dog began to lick it. This went on for around 10 seconds as I started to feel guilt and shame I asked myself what the hell I was doing and I pulled myself away from him, 5 years has passed since then and it hasn’t happened again since but the memory is really haunting me. I feel like some sort of sicko and I feel that I don’t deserve happiness after what I did I don’t know what to do anymore :(
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Re: *TW* Guilt and shame over *edit*?

Postby sprock » Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:03 pm

If you were still a kid as the mod edits seem to imply, then I think you are allowed to put a line in the sand at 18 and see childhood 'you' as a different person to the current 'you' - this being literally the case in terms of your brain's development and chemistry (which, after all, *are* you in a large part).

Also - and I am aware I am speaking for myself here - as a vegetarian (mostly vegan) I feel like society accepts far, far, far crueller and more deadly behaviour towards intelligent animals that anything you did. That is not to say what you did was right, but to put it into context. Ultimately, your dog did not suffer from the experience. No, it could not consent, but to a certain extent I think we risk projecting human concepts and terminology onto other non-human animals.

There is a film about a similar case called Sleeping Dogs Lie, which you might find healing to watch (though obvs potentially also triggering so make sure you are in a relatively good mood and mental place when and if you do so).
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