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Regret towards diverse events

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Regret towards diverse events

Postby duckegg » Sun Mar 31, 2019 12:29 am

I haven't been in a good headspace for a while, and it is partly because I keep reminiscing about things I've done in my life which I'm having a hard time getting over.

Pets: When I was younger I used to get jealous of my dog or angry at him resulting in small acts of abuse such as pushing him when he was sleeping or pulling very hard on his leash, sometimes so hard he would have trouble breathing.
Relationships: I've always had random tendencies to hurt things or people, although rare and not really acted upon. However I still managed to do this to my dog. Later, I also shook someone I loved very much quite violently apparently, in an attempt to make them realise something (I don't remember this event at all but when we parted ways they mentioned this and I don't believe they would lie about this); I also said various other hurtful things throughout our relationship.
Family: I try to keep control over myself as I still get angry sometimes, accompanied with urges to say hurtful things, particularly to my sibling whom I never could stand; I am afraid this will affect them or their self esteem later in life, but sometimes I still have a tough time holding words back.

There may be more similar events but my memory is terrible.
I feel a lot of disgust and shame towards myself, every time I think of how I made some people or animals feel it hurts a lot and I'd like to redeem myself. However it all feels stuck, especially seeing how I still get some impulses (even though much less than before). Not even sure if I do have a mental illness or not

Thanks for reading, I felt a lot of shame putting this into words
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Re: Regret towards diverse events

Postby sprock » Sat Apr 06, 2019 10:12 am

I think this indicates good growth - it does not sound like you have committed any acts for which society would cast you out nor any which will have permanently traumatised someone - that's a good start you can build some self-respect upon (though, others reading this, if you have done the aforementioned that does not mean you are permanently doomed forever!!)

Have you considered getting some therapy or going to anger management?
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Re: Regret towards diverse events

Postby duckegg » Mon Apr 08, 2019 7:41 pm

sprock wrote:I think this indicates good growth - it does not sound like you have committed any acts for which society would cast you out nor any which will have permanently traumatised someone - that's a good start you can build some self-respect upon (though, others reading this, if you have done the aforementioned that does not mean you are permanently doomed forever!!)

Have you considered getting some therapy or going to anger management?


No, I don't have access to them.

You don't have to reply back - but I wanted to thank you for acknowledging my post, it is helpful and means a lot. Keep up the good work on this forum!
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Re: Regret towards diverse events

Postby shock_the_monkey » Mon Apr 08, 2019 9:42 pm

the longer we live the more mistakes in life we make. some people are better than others at forgiving their own mistakes. perhaps if they are forgiving of other peoples' mistakes they believe that they should be equally forgiving of their own. that's not to say that we shouldn't try to improve. however, i see too many people on these boards pulling themselves apart for no real reason whatsoever. it's as if they have no idea how to forgive themselves. and no amount of assurance seems to assuage their guilt. it's rather sad. we can't live our lives to the best of our ability whilst we constantly feel bad about things that are done with. if nothing else, we should forgive ourselves just so as not to be a burden to those around us. so, yes, you can regret something that you've done but allowing it to affect everything else in your life is a big mistake and one that may not just affect you but other people too.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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