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Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Wonder85 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 5:49 pm

Surely a crime was committed?
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby rms18 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 9:34 pm

The police have better things to concern themselves with. They are not going to be worried about a child doing something like that 2 decades ago with no harm done. It isn't something you ever continued into adult life. If it was then that is when the police would take notice. Your situation is not something they would have cause for concern over.

You should research about a book by Lena Dunham called 'Not that kind of girl' where this woman actually writes down about her curitosy and experimentation as a child. This book was published.

Below is some wiki info on the book.


In November 2014, Dunham and the book became a subject of controvers following a profile of Dunham by Kevin D. Williamson published in National Review. In her book, Dunham describes examining her sister Grace's genitals when they were children out of curiosity, bribing her with candy for kisses and casually masturbating while lying in bed next to her. Williamson characterizes this as sexual abuse, but Lena, Grace, and child psychologists, sexual abuse experts, and researchers in human sexuality reject the notion.

In an interview about the controversy in Slate magazine's XX Factor blog, developmental psychologist Ritch Savin-Williams says that the cited passages do not indicate abuse and that "Children have been doing this stuff forever and ever and ever and ever, and they will do it forever and ever and ever." Child sexual abuse expert David Finkelhor said that a judgement requires more than a single incident, and psychologist Sharon Lamb opined that the incidents described in the book were "within the norms of childhood sexual behavior" and that "It wouldn’t be sex offender wrong, it would be inappropriate..."


Now let's be honest if the police would really concern themselves with children acting in, yes innapropriate ways, but no not predator ways then she would have been arrested by now I'm sure.
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Wonder85 » Mon Mar 25, 2019 1:54 pm

Thankyou, I don't know how to stop this thought process. I keep googling the UK law on this kind of thing but can't find any info. My days are spent with a constant feeling of dread and fear.
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Snaga » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:42 pm

UK Law? Seriously, they let grooming GANGS go on forever, and you're worried about a dodgy touch you made for all of a few minutes? *hugs you* Darlin', you're good, seriously.
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby shock_the_monkey » Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:55 pm

you couldn't be convicted of this crime as no one would be in a position to testify against you. just admitting to a crime isn't enough. there has to be evidence that the crime actually occurred. there isn't any.

also, this crime is only in your mind, based on what you think is and isn't appropriate.

should anything seriously detrimental befall your life, you may find yourself suddenly realising how much time you've needlessly wasted worrying about this.

candidly, i think you might be using this as a fixation to justify unrelated feelings of unworthiness. anyone with any sense of self-worth would have shrugged this off long ago.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Wonder85 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:00 pm

Thankyou everyone for your very kind words. I'm having a bad day again today. I think all my family and friends would hate me if they knew but then on the other had knowing how remorseful I feel would they?
I'm torturing myself that the other party remembers but my husband says that's impossible at the age he was. This fear is probably all down to my OCD giving me anxiety about it. Before this started haunting me it popped into my head over the years but I just shrugged it off as a I was a stupid kid. I meant no harm and didn't think the other party had any memory of the event. Now I'm a mess and it affects everything.
What if he does remember? Would any authority care, I'm well into my 30s now and him his 20s. How can I let this go?
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Snaga » Fri Apr 05, 2019 6:37 pm

Not going to remember and you probably have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning, than anyone will care. Please try to let this go.
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Wonder85 » Fri Apr 05, 2019 7:49 pm

Thankyou Snaga, you are a great help to me! Do you think this is my OCD playing me up! Any tips on how to overcome this?
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby shock_the_monkey » Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:05 pm

make yourself a list of all the good things that you've done in your life and keep it on you. whenever this pops into your head, take the list out and read it. eventually your subconscious will get the message that you've done far more good things than this one event that is troubling you. i still say that you're taking this well out of any reasonable perspective but it's you that needs to be convinced of that, not me.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Please help me, drowning from childhood guilt :(

Postby Dnester » Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:11 am

The police can not do anything because you were a child. They are not going to take you to jail for something you did as a child that long ago. It is against the law for them to do that. So dont worry.
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