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inappropriate ”games” as a child, guilt

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inappropriate ”games” as a child, guilt

Postby tired899 » Sat Sep 01, 2018 4:51 pm

When I was 6 or 7, my friend and I tried to kiss my brother (3 years older than me) and his friend on the cheek so they would leave us alone. It happened a few times I think, and it was like a game for us. We thought it was funny, and If I remember right my brother and his friend laughed at it too. But I am so scared that we sexually harassed/abused them. I don’t remember much so i don’t know what happened. I know people are gonna say that I was young, I didn’t understand, I was younger than them etc. but it doesn’t make it okay.
Because I can’t remember exactly what happened, I try to ”search” my brain and make up scenarios. They feel so real and are always awful.
My friend and I also ”played doctor” when I was 5-6. She’s a year older than me. Again, I don’t remember much, but I have talked to her and she said it wasn’t anything serious, we were both just curious kids. I have been to therapy because of this. At some point I felt like the violator, then I felt like the victim, now I don’t know anymore. The therapy stopped because both my therapist and me felt like I didn’t need it anymore, but now the same thoughts, the same guilt is coming back...
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Re: inappropriate ”games” as a child, guilt

Postby sprock » Sun Sep 02, 2018 10:39 pm

It might be worth returning to therapy. The fact is, your age clearly *does* make a difference and there is a distinction to be made here between irritating horseplay with an older sibling and exploitation or abuse. Have you spoken to your brother about this?
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