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Was this sexual assault? Or was it nothing?

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Was this sexual assault? Or was it nothing?

Postby djr23 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:18 pm

Its been bothering me for over 4 years now. I was in the process of losing my virginity with my then gf. We did it and went home like nothing happened. At some point in the middle of it she asked me to stop and I thought I did (I distinctly remember stopping and asking before continuing). Weeks later however right around when we started to have troubles, she told me that I never stopped and implied that I had done something very wrong. We never talked about it again. Now we are separate and it wasn't on good terms so I can't talk to her about it. What should I do? It has started to affect my next relationships and my overall mental health and I need some kind of closure.
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Re: Was this sexual assault? Or was it nothing?

Postby sprock » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:14 pm

This sounds hard to deal with. It I am honest it is down to whether you did stop (and stayed stopped not trying again) or not. I don't know if what your ex believes you did and what you believe you did can be easily reconciled. Has your memory of the event stayed consistent do you think? Thanks for posting. I will do my best to offer what advice I can.
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Re: Was this sexual assault? Or was it nothing?

Postby djr23 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:23 pm

My memory of the event was very consistent, in fact I thought of it as a good memory and a good example of me showing control up until she told me that. I remember it well I think, but our memories are so fickle, if I could I would apologize to her just in case anyway.
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