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I sexually harassed my flatmate

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I sexually harassed my flatmate

Postby iwanttolearn » Sat Jun 30, 2018 11:29 am

Hello, I’m 21, earlier this year my flatmate whom I had a crush on was working out in the common area shirtless, he usually goes around shirtless. I asked if it was ok with him if I watched, he didn’t say yes. But he smiled, but he didn’t say no. I watched him do stretches for a few minutes, less than 5, and throughout the whole time, i said he looked cool, he was cool, what he was doing was cool. And that he resembled his favourite anime character [edit: specific character removed at request]. He didn’t interact with me much so I left.

Also i didn’t see anything from the front, I only saw his back as I was sitting very far away. But yes, no front, only the back and no butt because he was seated. Just and only his back.

When he was doing stretches, I sat very far away from him in the living room, and I was wearing 4 underwears to prevent arousal. Also during the day he was feeling down, and the reasons I watched and praised him were to help him feel better, and also because I was so fascinated by the gym life and thought it was so cool.

After that day, I apologised and never stared at him ever again. But he didn’t say anything about it.

Because of my guilt, as I am also a guy I thought I should bare my chest for him to see to be fair. Anyway, first I asked properly for his consent this time, I asked is it ok if i walked around the common area without my shirt and he said yes.

So one time, while he was eating, I talked to him while I was shirtless, I purposely tried to get his attention during the conversation, but he looked uncomfortable and every time he looked he would quickly look away. Noticing his discomfort, I never took my shirt off in the common area ever again.

Just like with the first incident, in the second incident I was standing quite far away from him as well.
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Re: I sexually harassed my flatmate

Postby sprock » Sat Jun 30, 2018 5:08 pm

You posted about this before, iwanttolearn. You're being compulsive :)

You aren't a sexual harasser or abuser. You're a caring, anxious person, who is labelling their own actions far too harshly - far more harshly than anyone else would.
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Re: I sexually harassed my flatmate

Postby iwanttolearn » Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:00 am

sprock wrote:You posted about this before, iwanttolearn. You're being compulsive :)

You aren't a sexual harasser or abuser. You're a caring, anxious person, who is labelling their own actions far too harshly - far more harshly than anyone else would.


Sprock, thank you for your reply. But still, I feel as though I have committed a crime, how is what I’ve done not a crime? Sorry for the trouble
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Re: I sexually harassed my flatmate

Postby sprock » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:01 am

Guys being topless is not seen as inherently sexual. Now, I do think this is hypocritical for women who aren't permitted to walk around topless - but legally that's certainly where we stand. You didn't make innuendo or anything like that - you just talked to someone, your housemate, while topless. I genuinely think you wouldn't be able to find anyone arrested for that and the law works via precedence :)
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