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Tearing Me Apart and I don't know where to turn

Open Discussions about Remorse Issues.

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Tearing Me Apart and I don't know where to turn

Postby M21 » Thu May 31, 2018 10:48 pm

Good afternoon. I am a 19 year old male and I'm going through the worst period in my life. My younger brother is four years my junior and back when I was like 11-13, there was an incident where we had sexual contact. It was completely unintentional. Up until that point, we had to shower together for some stupid reason, I guess because my parents didn't trust him bathing by himself just yet. One night contact between us initiated, basically our private parts made continuous contact with each other. I did not intend to or force my brother into that at all. After that occurred, it was basically forgotten about. Recently during the beginning of my senior year in high school in fall 2017, I began having intrusive thoughts and anxiousness about my sexuality. I remembered this incident and it has been ripping my mind to shreds ever since. Not only do I constantly have intrusive thoughts about my seuxality(I've always dated, been intimate with and had strong feelings for women), but I always am screaming at myself for allowing that to even happen. I know it's normal for kids to have some sort of sexual exploration when they are young, but this still pains me. My brother is perfectly fine, he even has a girlfriend in only his freshman year of high school. Someone please help, I just want to feel normal again.

-- Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:21 am --

And if I posted in the wrong forum can somebody redirect to one that will be more suited to this kind of issue
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Re: Tearing Me Apart and I don't know where to turn

Postby Starboy14 » Fri Jun 01, 2018 5:25 pm

Hello :) It was just a normal things kids do! Let it go. You did not know any better at that age. You are very different person now. Thats why you didnt think about it for a second thought until now. YI think that OCD has struck you now, and is making that memory kind of an obesssion. Trust me your brother is not at any moment thinking what you are now. Please stop beating yourself for something you did as a child. How could a child knew something that you as an adult know now?

This is very common kind of exploration :) it was not abusive, after all. Please let go. We all make stupid things when we are young :D
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Re: Tearing Me Apart and I don't know where to turn

Postby sprock » Sun Jun 10, 2018 10:27 pm

Just posted to say that I really like Starboy's response and utterly agree with it :)
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