I can't stand who I love

That's so true. Perhaps I should restate what I've said.

I'm sure the man I want can be trusted, but he is so fearful of coming near me, that he unconsciously behaves in a very untrusting manner. It's clear as a bell that he has some major 'emotional blockage' and I'm so hoping that at some point, he'll go and see someone to help him get rid of this blockage. He clearly can't see that HE is the one who is swimming in self defeating behaviour. Whatever it is that he is fearful of, is unfortunately, HIS FOCUS!

You're absolutely right...you can not love someone you do not trust. The mis-trust I see from the man I want is (I'm pretty sure) nothing more than fear playing its game

I have to add...after thinking about what I first wrote...I don't know how someone can love someone they don't like. I married a man once who I wasn't attracted to initially, but got to really like (in the very early days). As it turned out, he too was fearful and so created scenarios that reinforced his fears. Eventually, I lost respect for him, as well as everything else. So yes...I don't believe you can love someone you do not like or respect.

I believe in never giving up.
If you want him bad enough, and you love him, like you say you do, you can MAKE IT WORK.
Relationships require time, commitment and work.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS, not just romantic ones.
Trust has to be earned.
He has to LEARN that he can trust you.

Don't give up because you're scared it won't work.
If it doesn't, it doesn't and you already guessed it might not.
Point is, if you think you can or you think you can't you're right.
Think that you can try.
Try like mad.
Try because you can.
Try because your heart tell you to.
Try because everyone else in the world wants to tell you that you can't.
You NEVER KNOW until you and give it you damnedest.

I would try.
I have tried.
I've figured out that Red and I can work.
We have a system and we stick to it and we could work.
The only thing is that now, I don't want to.

That's my bad. I am in love with being in love.
When the new wears off I need someone else...
And while the new came back for a while after we broke up...
And I tried to make everything as pleasant as possible, and it worked...
Sometimes you have to move on... but not until after you've tried and you know, for sure, that it's time.

This pep-talk brought to you by Monster Import, from Amsterdam, Holland.
I <3 Monster Energy Drinks.

Thanks smile....well put!

My problem is I'm an only child and used to getting my way. That's not to say I'm stupid about it...I'm just a fighter.
Failure is NOT an option for me.
The problem with trying all the time is that I get hurt in the process. AND...in the scheme of things, he needs to row the boat as much as I do.
I've come to the conlusion that I'm clearly emotionally much stronger than he is - no question about that.
All he needs to do is get past "GO"...the rest will either work, or not. Who knows.
He doesn't give me much credit for intelligence...I suspect that he thinks if he makes a move, I won't let go if he changes his mind.
That's one thing he doesn't know about me (amongst many things actually): I have an enormous amount of pride. I'm not some weak and pathetic appendage that wouldn't let go if it wasn't working.
God knows...I just can't get into any analysis: too hard and a total waste of time.

I couldn't agree with you more.
Thank you x

Oh yes, just to add...

One of the things that Pi**es me off no end is his "assumptions".

I suspect (STRONGLY) that he does nothing but makes assumptions. This is THE WORST mistake anyone can make.
Over 80% of all assumptions are wrong.
Communication is the key ingredient. He refuses to communicate anything.
As a result, he's making a stack of assumptions about who I am, and what I think and feel. He is clearly making his own fears and beliefs THE BENCHMARK for consequences. He has NO IDEA who I really am, nor making any attempt to find out. He clearly gets a thought in his head and acts on it!

Never assume anything about anyone!
Life's greatest lesson.