I do not understand this girl

There's a girl I've liked for years. It's a platonic love, completely idealized and fictional.
I met up with this girl once, but she didn't want to see me again.
When I ran into her at bars, I'd talk to her, but she ignored me.
So I got tired of trying.


But what I don't understand is why she would look at me from across the bar, from the other side. I was looking at her too; I was searching for her.
Maybe she was looking at me because I was looking at her. I think I'm trying to see things that aren't really there.
Once, I saw her looking for me with her head. I noticed her, and she quickly turned her head away.
Her friends look at me, so I think she's talked about me to them.

Once, I ran into her on the street, but I was on the other side, so I assumed she didn't see me. After a while, she turned her head back to where I was.

If this girl has shown she's not interested in me, I don't understand why she keeps looking at me, and sometimes she stares at me from a distance.

Thanks.

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