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Advice Needed

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Advice Needed

Postby Adviceforme67 » Tue May 30, 2023 8:19 pm

I (male 34) have been with my fiance (female 30) now for awhile (2 years) and I love her more than I can say. Recently, I have been thinking about what she has told me she has done in her past. She was married previously and I knew all this. I knew she had been with other men but for some reason its bothering me now. I know it shouldn't and I was fine with it previously. I don't know why its haunting me a bit. The thought of her with other men doing things to and with her just kills me and I am trying to figure out how to cope. I have not lashed out or anything and could use some advice on how to handle this. I have had my history and she has had hers. Arguably, I have done a lot more. She says this is the best sex she has ever had and wants it constantly where she says previously she hated doing it. I know this sounds bizarre. I just wonder if anyone else has had this happen. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
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Re: Advice Needed

Postby Otter » Thu Jun 01, 2023 3:03 am

So, to clarify, your fiance had a regular past for someone who is 30 - that is, relationships that had physical intimacy, including one marriage?

I have a close friend who lost her husband to a heart attack. I set her up with another friend of mine and they got married. But during the time they were engaged, the man would occasionally get jealous of the deceased husband, even though he didn't even know either of them when her first husband died.

So this is not bizarre or that unusual.

If you told your fiance, would she understand? I think it is something you should process together.

For the friend I mentioned above, his jealousy eventually abated, but it took some time. The key is to not let it get out of control and sabotage the good that is there in the relationship.
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