Our partner

IDENTITY CRISIS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Open Discussions about Relationship Issues.

Moderator: Otter

IDENTITY CRISIS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Postby Namerc » Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:16 pm

I want to share my thoughts and possibly get a piece of advice from whoever reads this post.

A little background

*I'm a 32-year-old gay guy and I've been struggling for years (at least from adolescence) from low self-esteem and feelings of being lesser than other people.

*I have no past traumas and my parents are amazing and caring and they only gave me love and attention throughout the years.

*I believe I am an intelligent, sensitive, loving, and caring person.

*I haven't left my parents' home and I am unemployed for the past 3 years though, I do have an undergraduate degree.

I have issues with attachment, anxiety, and emotional dependency when it comes to romantic relationships. I don't know that this should be my main concern in life but, I can certainly tell you that it bothers me a lot, especially because my long-distance relationship ended a week ago.

I feel so good when I'm romantically and intimately involved with someone, that I can tap into all the greatness and positive feelings about life within me, that I simply feel alive. The thing is that it doesn't last too long (This time it was mainly due to us being thousands of km away from each other) it's temporary, it evaporates quickly and then I go back feeling inadequate, worthless, and inferior to my partner (by now my ex-partner).

I do not act in abnormal ways toward my partner or any past one for that matter but, it's safe to assume that I project my emotional dependency when they get to know me more intimately. I feel like I'm in a constant struggle with my mind that rationally tells me that it's not okay to put all your eggs in one basket, believing that this person is my salvation, that he is the key to my happiness and well-being, however, my emotions are completely different. My emotions make me feel anxious, afraid of losing this person even though our interaction Is mutual at the beginning.

Now, this person is gone from my life, and I know that breaking-up sucks but, it doesn't have to do only with him. I feel completely shattered, broken, lost and I'm haunted by memories of good time spent together, with him. I feel worthless, I feel ashamed of feeling this way especially knowing that he has moved on emotionally. My dreams had gone with him, my happiness. I want so much to feel happy and calm the way I felt at times with him. This is, unfortunately not the first time I'm feeling this way but, it certainly feels harder because this time It was a relationship and not merely a temporary infatuation.

How do I break this cycle? Can I ever feel at peace with myself? Content and happy without being romantically involved with anyone? How do I stop feeling inferior to him? Lesser than other people? I know that there are huge forces and good feelings within me but, now I feel aimless and at times I feel like there's no point anymore in continuing this journey that I call my life.
Last edited by Snaga on Tue Jan 18, 2022 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: please avoid use of colored fonts, thanks- no other edits
Namerc
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:09 pm
Local time: Mon May 16, 2022 10:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: IDENTITY CRISIS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Postby HGranger » Thu Jan 20, 2022 4:35 pm

Have felt the same, so what did I do.

I began to have a relationship with me. I t has been rocky and hilarious but we know worth.

It has been a struggle of decades and there are down times, but what have you got to lose?
You are worth it and do not let the opinion or actions of others lead you astray.

Never believe that you are not worthy of life because when your time here is done, someone will mourn.

KC
I have searched for the phrase, "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers- Ianto Jones

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming - Dory
User avatar
HGranger
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2022 10:55 pm
Local time: Mon May 16, 2022 4:26 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: IDENTITY CRISIS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Postby Namerc » Fri Jan 28, 2022 12:11 pm

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my message and reply. I appreciate that greatly, and I draw hope from your kind words! I want to believe I have the power within me to make myself proud and better able to cope with all my inner demons.
Namerc
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2022 6:09 pm
Local time: Mon May 16, 2022 10:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: IDENTITY CRISIS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Postby HGranger » Tue Feb 01, 2022 12:32 pm

I have faith in you, so look for it inside.
KC
I have searched for the phrase, "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers- Ianto Jones

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming - Dory
User avatar
HGranger
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2022 10:55 pm
Local time: Mon May 16, 2022 4:26 am
Blog: View Blog (1)


Return to Relationship Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests