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How to Handle Dating Someone with Severe C-PTSD?

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How to Handle Dating Someone with Severe C-PTSD?

Postby Ascendant » Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:43 pm

There is a woman I started talking to about 10 months ago. Met her on a dating site. She has continued being on all my social media now for the last 10mos, but we hadn't gone on a date until just recently. She would send me memes or links to pages from time to time, or occasionally a message here or there. A couple weeks ago, however, she broke her arm. She was really upset about having to get surgery, and I think it was a wake up call to try to live her life again. Shortly after her breaking her arm, she actually asked me out on a date that weekend! I was completely shocked. I honestly thought I was never going to meet this woman. But, we finally had a date.

The date went well, at least I thought. Coffee date. We spent 3hrs together. Drove her home, but because of how bad her trust issues are, she had me drop her off at the corner of her road rather than her house.

Since then, she still comes and goes. I asked her a couple days after the date if it was even a date. She basically said she needed time to "recharge" and was just looking for friends. She then went on to say that she thought I was "very handsome and interesting" as well as said she wanted to spend more time with me and show me around her area.

Found out more about her too. Basically, since we started talking about 10mos ago (met on a dating site), she has only been on a handful of dates and only tried to date one single person last year. No one else made it past a first date. The one person who did she was off and on with for several months, as he had issues with how slow she was trying to take things (he kept breaking up with her over it; not sure what "slow" meant or any details about it). She also has severe C-PTSD. She has dealt with numerous narcissists all her life, both in dating and her mother.

After she told me she the whole "just friends" line, she has given me VERY mixed signals. That same day, she then tagged me three times on FB, messaged me several times that afternoon/evening, linked me several things in Instagram, etc. The following weekend, she flaked out on our next get together. A couple days after flaking out, she told me in one message how "she would give anything just to come take a nap with me. Even just a hug would be great." So, only friends, but wants to nap with me?

From all I'm gathering, I take it she has at least some interest here, but is so afraid of getting hurt that she still has her guard up. It is EXTREMELY frustrating, as we have so much in common it's crazy. I've never been as interested in anyone else in my life, which considering I'm in my 40s and have dated plenty of women, says a lot. But, I just feel like I am far more interested in her than she is me, and she seems like she is still not actually ready to date at all. But, maybe it's mostly her C-PTSD. I really can't tell, so was hoping to get some insight from people versed in psychology.

I feel like I am just setting myself up to get hurt here. I don't want to pass up the opportunity with her, but the more I try to get to know her, the more I am risking getting hurt here. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do and/or how to handle this, I am all ears. I am trying to give her space and let her take things at her own pace, but it's now going on a week and a half and no second date. Also, some days where she will message me multiple times, I'm just not sure how to handle this???
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