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How inappropriate is GF by letting guy talk sex to her

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How inappropriate is GF by letting guy talk sex to her

Postby FindingTheWay » Sun Jul 19, 2020 9:48 pm

My girlfriend is Japanese and they are not expressive about their feelings and they are not affectionate or so she tells me. I have read this in researching it too. She has trouble standing up for herself or saying no to someone. She says she likes the American interaction in relationships but it is hard for her.

She has been talking to an American guy as a language partner online for at least a year. She has complained to me that he has told her he has a big dick and that he is always telling her how he wants to have sex with Asian women. She even started "referring to him as "scumbag! Now he is giving her details of his sexual experiences. I told her to tell him she doesn't want to hear about this and she made excuses for him and saying she doesn't mind and that he is her language partner. I hit the roof when I heard this. To me this says she has no respect for me or our relationship and that she must not really like me that much. She also doesn't have respect for herself or she has a perverted need to hear about this stuff even though she denies it.

I feel that this is inappropriate to the nth degree for someone that is in a relationship. This kind of thing is a typical first step that can lead to bigger steps and more serious inappropriate behavior including cheating. No one who cares about their relationship and the person they are supposed to care about or love should EVER put themselves near temptation or into a tempting situation. You are just asking for trouble! This scumbag that she is talking to has a Chinese girlfriend now. This is the one he is having sex with and giving my girlfriend the sexual details. The irony is that this scumbag would not be ok with some guy talking to his Chinese girlfriend the way he talks to my girlfriend. The biggest problem is that she says she is ok with it. She doesn't seem to see how wrong this is. I'm planning to tell her she can do what she wants but if she chooses to continue she will be doing it without me in her life. But I think she would just continue and just not tell me she is still talking to this guy.

I think some control is needed by both people in a relationship but not unhealthy control. There is a huge difference. I don't want the burden of controlling a woman in a relationship. I don't want a daughter, I want a mature, respectful, loving woman with whom I can trust and have mutual respect. The only thing I want to control is not getting hurt or hurting the other person, keeping our relationship in tact and keeping intruders out and I want this for both people in the relationship!

Please tell me how you feel about all of this!
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Re: How inappropriate is GF by letting guy talk sex to her

Postby realityhere » Mon Jul 20, 2020 5:37 am

Ask your gf how she would feel if some woman who is your "online Japanese language partner" discussed intimate sexual details about herself or her sex life with you.

Her answer may tell you what you need to know about your current relationship.
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Re: How inappropriate is GF by letting guy talk sex to her

Postby FindingTheWay » Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:22 pm

Thanks for responding... I will ask her that. I have a whole list of things to discuss with her about this. I'd like to get some feedback to know if most people agree with me that she is way out of line and inappropriate in letting this guy talk to her like this. It seems that most women would not want a guy talking to her like this even if she were single. To me it is a no brainer, but I always like to get a consensus. If both people in the relationship are into this kind of thing and have a somewhat unusual and open relationship, then of course it would be fine. I think that the majority of people in relationships would think this kind of thing is wrong, trouble and inappropriate for the relationship as well as being disrespectful to the partner and damaging to the relationship.
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