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What type of guy is he

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What type of guy is he

Postby Katie01 » Sat May 09, 2020 11:15 pm

Hi guys. Joined this site to get experts advice and explanation about certain mix of things that bothers me.
Some weeks ago I kinda feel frustrated desperate and a bit bored so I've decided to join an online dating website. There I meet an interesting guy. I started the talk about the quarantine. He mentioned he was bored thats why he joined the dating site too. We talked and we shared things about ourselves. He was a Texan guy and I was Asian. Surely culture difference played a part on some happenings perhaps? He said he was working in a school, more like of a senior teacher as hes in the industry for 14 years and just break up with his gf pretty recent. He said he was in a LDR relationship for 4 years and about to get married with the girl but it didnt happen because the girl want a child after the marriage and he wanted too but after 2 or 3 years meaning not after marriage as he was not yet prepared but the gf wanted one so she decided to break up with him. He is somewhat romantic he sends short video clips of him singing a stanza of romantic song and he also sends a video of him playing piano and says that he is sending it to share his hobbies which are singing dancing and playing piano. This guy talks in a decent way on our conversations so I kinda believe when he says he was a teacher. Our first talk ended well. However on our second talk I couldnt help but accused him. I asked for his social media account like FB but he says he only just made one for the girls that he is talking to from the dating site as all his social media accounts he deleted to escaped from everyone when he and his gf broke up. I asked to the point of kinda accusing him that he is a poser. And he said think what you want but ive never been called a poser before so im taken aback. I did not responded as I dont know if i should still be even talking to him. But the next day Ive decided to send me some of my face photos as Ive promised to him yesterday and told him that on second thought he never said that he was interested or like me so him being a poser is not something that I should be worried about. Then he said he wouldnt even be talking to me if hes not interested as hes not a fan of wasting time. So we continued talking the third time. I thought I'll take the chances and its okay since its nothing so serious yet maybe someday he can tell me more.? But then on the 3rd time he demanded a whole body pic at first he suggested a pic wearing a swimsuit then when i said must i wear a swimsuit he said tank top n shorts will do looking for a potential partner here need to see. I said im gonna send it to him whenever i feel like it and all he said was Jesus ur something else and sent his shirtless photos. I said so now you're religious and he said that he was a non denominational Christian but did not mention the name of his sect.I sent a body pic in swimsuit from internet which he recognized and he demanded again a picture. im not even sure if hes a fake account ive tried to check using his name n number but i didnt find any info except that the location he claim is correct per area code of his number. I got annoyed over the fact that I thought he was a decent guy but it turned out that he was also like other men that are perv by asking a swimsuit photo. i've asked if he was looking for a sexmate and other stuff relating to what a perv wants which he denied. I thought his reason can also be a reasonable reason somehow so I thought im should send one. I've lost patience because he keep on demanding but that day I have work (work from home) and I dont think I have latest whole body pic which means Ill have to take a picture and lots of preparation for me as Im vain when it comes to photos that will be seen by other people and because I wasnt really actually photogenic. So it surely will take time and Im thinking I can do that only on my off. So Ive said that I'' be sending him a whole body pic in a week but im wearing decent clothes. He said a week? wow...never in my life...and ive said oh why do girls rush up in sending u their pics always? isnt that saddd? then he said youre an interesting person this is gonna be a long week. and we both know that we are talking to a lot of people from the dating site so I jokingly told him to play with his other playmates and ill get back to him in a week. and he said he wont hold his breath which i replied good coz u will die if u do so. After a week I get back to him and apologize for the words I've said due to my annoyment (perv accusations included lol) and he said it was ok and appreciate my apologies and then I've sent my whole body pic which im wearing t shirt and short in short decent looking clothes. He asked how was my dating experience and I told him I did some elimination round as I have red flags which I did not told him in detail. After that he expressed that hed rejected me and offer friendship. He didnt say why. I dont know what happened there. Is making him wait for a week plays a part in his decision? Does he think I wasnt interested anymore in him?I just got confuse because he doesnt talk the way other pervs do he seems decent the way he talks. But I didnt accept the friendzone because i think its a sweet torture for me so we wrap up fast and i was left wondering and feeling mixed emotions. The next day I felt like I have a lot of baggage that I needed to tell him to be able to move on fast. So I've confessed to him what I felt for him that he was the guy that I like the most among my options. And he said i think i know the real reason you see guys are actively pursuing you and thats boring for you. I explained to him that i dont even entertain them all and stuff but same as what i was expecting i was still rejected and he said he dont see us romantically connecting. but i still didnt accept the friendzone that he offered.

My questions are:

What type of personality does this guy possess? Is he really a playboy, pervert and or?
What is his reason for offering me a friendzone?
Why did the guy said "you see guys are actively pursuing you and thats boring for you" and what was he thinking when he said that? does that play an important role in his final decision making of rejecting me? did he fear pursuing becoz of this thoughts? why did he even mentioned it though he rejected me already is he trying to imply something or get an explanation from something?

I would love to know your thoughts about what happened on this situation and what kind of guy I've encountered and his personality. I just want to know so that I know what to do next time if ever this happens again.

Hope to hear from people here. Thanks
Katie01
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Re: What type of guy is he

Postby thegentlepath » Fri May 15, 2020 5:49 pm

Hi Katie01,
Welcome to psychforums. I’m not an expert, but I believe the more important question is what type of person are you? Then work your way outward. I hope that helps.
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