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Ex-Boyfriend took everything I had. Advice please

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Ex-Boyfriend took everything I had. Advice please

Postby Simontheo » Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:47 pm


I will try to keep this short and on point...

I am 24 years old and had a boyfriend for over 2 years. He was diagnosed with Borderline and at the beginning, he was really nice and kind to me, as well as to my alters. We have never met anyone or have had any contact with his family members, only knowing what he has said and shown.

Every weekend we would take wonderful trips and he would usually pay for everything or almost everything. His father gave him a pension of $3,000.00 a month, as well as giving his mother money. This he showed me on his online bank account. At some point during our relationship, he started threatening us to give him money. At first, we didn't give him anything. He had promised that he would open any company we wanted and that his father was going to give him $500,000.00 to start off with, as long as I made a business plan. Which I did. The company never happened. We still gave him no money. But then the threats became actions and eventually, we started giving him money. Our savings went out the window and soon our wage went too. We started taking loans and using our overdraft to keep up, with previous loan payments as well as giving him extra money. We were forced to live with him in November/19 and he almost wouldn't let us leave the house. He did allow us to visit mom once a week and spend Christmas with our family. We took this chance and escaped to our aunt's house in another state. He knew she existed but didn't know where she lived. We went on Dec. 26. In January he tracked us down and forced my aunt and her wife, to let him stay with us. He stayed and left in Feb after they threatened to have a few police friends take care of him and dump his body in the ocean, he left. We have, following my aunt's instructions, kept in touch by phone only. Very little.

He also had a fight with his sister's mother-in-law and he made threats. She (the mother-in-law) filed a police report. He had some people kidnap her and shoot her legs. I watched this with him via WhatsApp call. The mother-in-law recanted her statement and it was case closed. Probably helped that his father seems to be some bigshot in town. It was ultimately what made me start giving him money.

So we now have around $100,000.00 in debt. My mom gave us a few months to decide what we want to do with our lives and find a job because she will kick us out. She has kicked out her brother in the past and allowed him to live under a bridge near her apartment, during the '80s. She kicked out my brother when I was 21 and he was 18. He lived on the streets for a few weeks before finding some friends to live with. So it's a strong possibility for us. We also have lost our majestic, one of a kind, black card.

Now, the problem is fixing this mess on our own accord.

I am the owner of a regional company, along with my mother. I took over the company in 2016 when it was going bankrupt, in part due to mismanagement and in part due to her brother, who founded the company with her, embezzling funds from clients and from court-mandated probate proceedings, of a regional real state company he was the finance director for. I became the finance director of the company, and, with the great work of the other board members and company employees, turned the company around, mostly. My mother also had the company bylaws altered to include me with a 20% share, while she had 80%, making us the sole proprietors of the company.

I also made during my first year at the company $1,200.00 a month and received 0% of the profits I was entitled too. In January of 2018, she raised it to $1.780,00. My mom said I lived with her and the company bought me a car, so I should be happy with what I had. I wasn't happy. All the members of the board have an annual salary of at least $170,000.00 a year plus some pay bonuses and luxury company cars. My mother drives a 2019 G-Wagon. I drive a 2019 entry-level Honda Fit.

Obviously my mom has said she will not pay our debt, which is understandable, she has a lot of debt that my work at the company has helped her payback, but has not liquidated yet. She has also cut my pay to $400.00 a month so that I will learn from my mistakes, as well as having altered the company bylaws to remove me from the company.

I have attempted for the past 2 years to search for jobs in other companies, as I don't think it's fair that I'm treated like dirt while everyone else is earning money. All the jobs that I have been called to interviews consider me to be overqualified (receptionist, grocery bagger, etc) or qualified but not having a degree in Economics, Law, Business, or other related areas to company management (manager at a mall store, finance director at other companies, etc).

I've been raised in a manner that I will be dependent on my mother so she will have someone to take care of everything for her, including managing her own company. Something she doesn't know how to do. But when I went away in November to my ex-boyfriend's house, she learned that she didn't' need me in her life and so now, I'm only mooching off her and have no more use for her.

I also am finishing my thesis for Social Work. I was forced to get a degree in Social Work. Which if I get a job as a Social Worker, it will not be sufficient to pay my debt, on a monthly basis, as well as paying for housing, food, and other necessities.

So I have no idea what to do anymore. None of the alters have any ideas. I've considered suicide many times. I have attempted since my teen years, at least 9 times. I survived when even doctors or other professionals said it was impossible to survive. I've come out alive and intact from crashing my car at 105 mph after going straight and crossing a 4 lane intersection and crashing at a wall. I only survived that one because a woman's child lost his shoe while crossing the street, delaying people from driving when it changed to green.


There's nothing I can do. Nothing at all.

Oh, and my ex said he could give me money every month since his father doubled his pension. He would give me half, which I would be able to pay my debt monthly, but would also mean that I would have to see him at least once a month. He randomly sent me $1,000.00 last week and told me to see him during the weekend that he would give me more. I didn't go see him last week. Should I risk it and see him this week? I really need to pay off my debt somehow or else I'll lose my bank account (which requires a crazy amount of income to get) and won't be able to get another bank account, as well as won't be able to rent or do anything, thus prohibiting me from moving on with my life.

What do I do?

Thank you all!

Sorry for it being so long.
I'm alone by choice. It's just not my choice.


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