Our partner

Friend is judging me and its affecting my social anxiety.

Open Discussions about Relationship Issues.

Friend is judging me and its affecting my social anxiety.

Postby BlueKnight » Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:45 pm

I need some friendship advice and also some insight what's going on.

So I know this family friend since kindergarten and our mothers are friends. My friendship with her as been off and on. Meaning in the past she wouldn't bother with me for years. But we would meet up once a year or twice because our mothers are friends so they would do dinner gathering. That was only time we would meet for a while. When we were young she use to bully me.

About maybe 7 years ago when my sister hang with her they were "best" of friends but then she used my sister. Meaning she still owes my sister $300. She left my sister in the city one time at a club and went off to have sex with some randmon man. So my sister had to bus home, alone during night time. She would pick on my sister say things like "Your hands are too big" to her studying at university has more vaule than my sister studying at a make up course at the time. The friendship broke up at the end.

My years knowing this she always had this "one best friend" and eventually they disappear. I wonder if has to do with her behavior and what she says.

Her life now. She lives at home with her mum and had twins with her partner. She took over her mother's bedroom and the whole upstairs. So now her mother has a small bedroom downstairs.
Things she has said to me has raised my eyebrows and question if I should hang with her.
She said how her mother has to learn her place in the house.
She told me that she can't get her way if she is angry at her partner cause he will ignore her or be sarcastic to her. So she has to wait till evening to discussed it with him. Which I thought hearing that she must play the waiting game to get what she wants.
Her mum does a lot of caring for the twins, to the point that it's not letting my friend experience being full responsible mother. Also my mother has notice the exhaustion has put a toll on her as well.
She asked me if there was a love bite on my neck. I said yes. Then she said " Well people know what you been up to then". Which I thought was odd because she was pregnant at the time. So obviously people know what she been up to. Lol.
When she had her twins I visited her at hospital. I saw the twins and said "Aw...they actually cute" and she said "Oh actually cute!" I felt this flase sense of guilt so I told her more than once I didnt mean that way. Then she eventually said "I know, I was trying to make you feel bad". Which I felt so embrassed my cheesk went incredibly hot, I wanted to ran out the room but I felt I couldn't, I was frozen. Afterwards that event affected my stomach. Meaning I had really sore tummy and bad toilet trips. I felt scared cause she manipulated me and planned it, at that moment. What is scary about it you don't know when it's going to happen! It will happen unexpected.

Now here comes the silly and werid experience I had couple weekd ago.I got these new shoes I forgot to cut off the plastic tags. My mind was some where else as my father was in hospital and so the last thing on my mind was to cut off these plastic tags. Anyway, she said to randomly when we were hanging with her twins "I notice the tags on your shoes last week. I didnt say anything. But I see them now. Why haven't you cut them off" she said it intensely with her teeth clench together I was a bit shocked and felt to defend myself. So I said to her "I had other things on my mind. Well...just the effort getting the scissors" and then she said to me "Thats not good enough" and then very quickly she laughed and said "ha hanha I guess it doesnt matter" I kind joked back. I guess it might've be passive agressive and I said to her " I will collect them and put them by your door step".

Okay so 2 weeks later seeing her. I meet up with her and she brought up the shoe thing again. Not straight away it was more like half an hour later. She said "oh those are your new shoes eh?" I thought to myself here we go again. Of course they are kinda new not anymore why is she asking. I said "yes" and she said to me "you cut off the tags" I said yes I did it yesterday". Which is true incase she judges me with them again. She laughed and said to her twins "she cut off her tags" I was like woha this is so werid. I felt really annoyed I didnt say anything. But I felt this deep anger.
I experience socail anxiety and depression/emotional dsyregulation so I do wonder if it's good for my mental health to hang with her. But I dont have any other friends due to my socail anxiety so I'm stuck.

Just wondering what is up with her? I'm always left confused because she buy me an ice cream or she would give me passionfruit that she grow from her garden. Yet he will say mean little comments. My current therapist reckons she has some form of personality disoder. Because she use to drink till she was drunk and sleep around a lot of men and other behaviours as well.

I dont know how to set my boundaires any advice whata going on?
BlueKnight
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 29, 2019 10:20 am
Local time: Sat May 30, 2020 3:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Friend is judging me and its affecting my social anxiety.

Postby BlueKnight » Sat Feb 29, 2020 7:48 am

Anyone?
BlueKnight
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 29, 2019 10:20 am
Local time: Sat May 30, 2020 3:10 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Relationship Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests