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Why posts can be a NEED and not a WANT

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Why posts can be a NEED and not a WANT

Postby Taramafor » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:20 am

So someone close to me claims to know what my wants and needs are. Which ticks me off to be frank. I know what I need. I never decide what others needs.

They're seeing a therapist. Who claims posts are only a want. I call that person ignorant. Because, honestly, I don't think they really get some people that have to express themselves in an online environment. This is something I believe I have more experience in due to being around so many "persona like" people for no less then 7 years. I don't care how much training you have. I am going to explain why a post can be a need with LOGIC. Not "just saying it". I'm not going to SAY I'm right. I'm going to PROVE it.

First of all though I want to point out there is a difference between "escaping" and "Actually being yourself online" (which may or may not involve posts, depending on who you ask). There is a big difference between the two. However, what starts as an escape can also become real. and the lines can become blurred for some people. Personally I never fall into the trap of escaping and just treat people online like people in the real world. Because they're not tools or excuses.

Now, one thing to keep in mind is that a post is MOSTLY a want. You'll see this a lot. It is the most common but is by no means the ONLY kind of posting there is. Let's make that VERY clear for a start. A large number of people do indeed "want" (not need) to post and RP online. And that's fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Most of these people don't get "that close" to each other. Most of these people might be "RP focused". And frankly I avoid this a lot despite my needs because I refuse to be treated like a "one night post stand". Most of these types of posters always keep their characters and the person they are separate. Some are also more on the "persona" side but might not be "as invested". A smaller number might need that "bond" and "real connection" between the people first (like me. But also others). The irony is that last example can also be people that don't want that kind of connection but then let it happen anyway should the opportunity present itself when someone shows enough interest in them. Yea, the hypocrisy just makes it more confusing. But let's move on from that.

The issue I have is that I know for a fact that posts are a need, not just for me (for reasons I'll get into shortly) but also many others. A large number of people in certain social circles HAVE to post. To act. To make actions. To do. To "be them". For better AND for worse, depending. Online isn't JUST as escape. It's also an environment people still develop bonds and share who they really are. Some people might have real life things as well. Others might only have a comforting presence online. There can be varying factors at play. A simple hug when you're actually depressed. A bark when you're a feral dog online and curling up next to them to show "real" support. Can be little details. Can be more to show you're trying. The action speaking louder then words ever could and knowing it's from the the heart of the person and not an "act". etc, etc. And even if someone has real life support that does not mean it replaces what is online if the connection people share is real and one that has been built over time, be it for better or for worse.

Additionally, many people, (me at one time included) manage to cope better when they can "split" themselves. In a controlled manner. Think of it like split personality disorder. Only the online environment is a controlled outlet for one side (which has got to be a lot healthier then cramming it in the same physical head). This can be a MAJOR factor for some people. One that keeps people sane in a very PHYSICAL way. There's a reason personas and characters are so popular. We can make it "something different altogether" but most of the time we put in a bit of "us". And I personally consider it a good thing. It can help people to focus on "part" of "who" they are. Now this may or may not be (or become) a "true part" of a person (intended or not). What is first illusion can become reality if you've lived it long enough, provided it is honest. For me it was... it wasn't an escape but more of a way to make sense of my "other half". Reasons being why I'll not get into. But it helped. A lot. I was able to "do more". To "act". To interact. To play with others. To LIVE again. Could I have done that in real life? Maybe. But would it have been with the SAME people that were there for me online? No! It HAS to be with them. It HAS to be with people that matter to me. Be it online or in real life. That doesn't mean I'm my persona in real life. The persona is just a digital manifestation of how I would be in that online environment. I try to make it fun when I can (and I NEED fun. We ALL need that). But if I'm forced to only show the bad things because someone refuses to play with me then that is all that will be shown. I can't force people to do it. A few bad times also doesn't mean I can't show the good. We have to "move on" to better times and it can be done quickly. Even easily. Provided the other person responds back in kind and wants to make the best of things.

To get back to the topic at hand though my situation is that I NEED to express myself. With my actions. With someone I care about. And even if others can play with me it has to be this one. Because they matter to me. If I know they CAN do it then yet do not then it becomes even MORE of a need because I need to know they care enough to play with me. And that is very much a need, regardless of what other activity is involved in order to play.
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