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Wife betrayed me three times, how am I be able to continue?

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Wife betrayed me three times, how am I be able to continue?

Postby asp3rg3r » Sun Sep 29, 2019 5:03 pm

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the fact that my wife does not know if she can continue on with our marriage because of my Asperger's. Last week she confessed that she had an emotional affair with a guy in the gym. This is the third time (2 years ago was the last). We are together for 14 years now and have two kids (twins both 4 yo).

The last two times is have forgiven her because I know I'm not perfect and I know it can be hard to live with someone with Asperger's. Sometimes I need to have some time for myself since I'm working full-time and we have some tough little toddlers which can be very demanding. Though over the last couple of years I've learned to adept and show her my appreciation and love even more, though she still thinks it's not enough. In reality she is seeking the flame and fire that comes with falling in love. Because I can't give her that fresh love feeling (but I do give her real sincere love and loyalty) she thinks it's normal to get that outside our marriage.

Furthermore she says she can't control it because of her condition (multiple personality disorder), which in the end basically means I just have to deal with it because she can't help it.

When I asked her why she did not leave me in the first place she answers that she loves me very much and can't live without me and that I'm an angel because I'm a good person.

We are trying marriage counseling, but if I may be honest I don't know how I can ever trust her again.
My love for her doesn't stop in an instance, but I do know that I tried very hard to fill the gap for her needs, though my needs are neglected because she already thinks I'm giving not enough.

Furthermore I'm suffering from depression. At times (since she knows about my diagnosis) she throws out all the things she hates about my Asperger's which hurts me badly causing me to go into a survival mode. What can I do when I hear that everything that I do is not good enough?

At times I'm empty and just can't give no more. And now after being betrayed for third time I'm just so devastated. Though I'm afraid to move on because she sometimes let me feel that I should be happy with her, because no wife and even her therapist could not live with someone who has Asperger's..

Still how much I do love her, sometime I think it's better to be alone and heal and become a happier person. What would you do in my situation?
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Re: Wife betrayed me three times, how am I be ablen to continue?

Postby Sarandipity » Tue Oct 01, 2019 7:07 pm

I'd be alone. It's not a tolerable situation.
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Re: Wife betrayed me three times, how am I be able to continue?

Postby Aries411 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:02 am

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I would look to see which would give you a happier life. Being alone and potentially finding someone else or staying in the marriage and and having trust issues. Since you are saying that you have given all you can give, it seems like your tank is running on empty. This will cause lots of strain in your marriage and put a large burden on yourself. If I was in your situation, I might lean towards seeing how life is on your own.
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