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Was it the alcohol or something more?

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Was it the alcohol or something more?

Postby Aj86 » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:58 am

So the other night my best friend who is a female (I'm a male) send her best female friend in to see me at work to help her with a project she wanted to do. Anyways, long story short she picked up all the materials she needed to complete the project. Her friend asked me if I would come over to help her get it built and that she was picking up my best friend later as well. I agreed to so that it could get done faster. Also, to hang with my best friend.

I am married but it isn't looking good for that sitiation. My best friend is working to get out of a toxic relationship as well and I'm trying to help her. Now, I would call my best friend and I very close. We talk/text constantly about projects, work, people, life, etc... So I show up at her friend's house later that evening to get started. We start and get to going on the project. We are drinking some beers/alcoholic beverages. Then, my best friend says "let's do a shot" so we open a fifth of something that tastes pretty good. We all talk for about some random stuff for a bit. Then, go back to the project. Then a little later the idea of doing a shot comes up again. So we do another shot. Now, it's just me and those two the whole time. By the end of the night (4am) we have polished off a fifth and part if another plus our drinks and have mostly finished the project. We drank a lot!!! So, during all this happening my best friend frequently leans against me, feeds me a pretzel here and there and share a couple pieces of pizza between the two of us taking bits off the same pieces. We even drank from the same drink several times. Now we do that sometimes normally but not to this magnitude nor this much and then that added leaning on me and getting really close. She was extra touchy feely too. Once, she was on the floor and I was popping her and her friend's backs. When I did my best friend's we were pretty lit. I had to pick her up off the floor, it was funny. When I did she wrapped her legs around me real tight. I carried her over to a chair and we all did another shot. A time or two we were literally in each other's arms holding on tight while we were all talking about stuff and her female friend was on the otherside of the bar talking to us. Honestly, it was amazing, one of the best nights of my life!

So, aside from our other relationships... her and I are very close. She has never been that close to me that much or that drastically but we do hug frequently and tell each other we love each other. She seemed very comfortable and cozy when I had my arms wrapped around her holding onto her. Now, I'm not going to lie that I do have a thing for her but I also respect her very much and truely do care about her. Would it be cool if we ended up together one day? Yes, definitely! I think we would be great and have a lot of fun together. We do many simular things amd have many simular interests. I would want it to be real and authentic though from both sides. I know mine would be. So, am I wishful thinking here or dreaming some? Frankly, it was one of the funnest nights I have ever had. Also, throughout the night her female best friend would make comments about us being together. Like "if she wasn't married she'd be all over me (if my best friend wasn't)" or you need to marry him!" or "you need to leave your bf and be with him!" They would have little quiet quick chats also here and there where I couldn't hear what they were saying. Her friend says she thinks I'm amazing and seems to mean it. She said that she wants to get my best friend and I together. She says when she is determined to do something it usually happens. My best friend's family (mom, dad, sister, son) all love me I have been told. My best friend apparently talks regularly about me to them and they always ask about me. I also take care of my best friend most of the time helping her with rides, meals, other stuff she needs, etc. She does say often she is so comfortable around me. Even today her sister was in and was talking to me about some materials for her and her husband's projects at home and I sort of felt like her sister was "feeling me out" since my best friend wasn't around at the time.

So am I a dumbass and should not think to much about it or are things more obvious?
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Re: Was it the alcohol or something more?

Postby realityhere » Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:17 pm

Um, you're still married. Try to get that resolved first before getting involved with anybody. Things can get messy when you have an already committed relationship and an affair.

Alcohol can override inhibitions that are usually in place while sober. Just because she is your best friend doesn't mean she'll make a great partner down the road. With the amount of alcohol consumed that day, consider that your best friend may not show the best judgment, tempting you to cheat. Once a close friendship becomes an affair, it's no longer the same friendship as before--it changes significantly and sometimes it doesn't turn out well.
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Re: Was it the alcohol or something more?

Postby Aries411 » Wed Sep 25, 2019 5:33 pm

I agree with Reality,

Even though you are your best friends and may have a very close relationship, the alcohol creates a behavior that can't be trusted (even though you think you can). Best thing to do and step back and observe the relationship a bit more while you are both sober.
I don't want to put my expectations onto others, but I put a high priority on marriage and find it dangerous to flirt with someone to that level while you are married. If you want to pursue things with your best friend, your wife, who you've exchanged vows, deserves a proper discussion.
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