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Ex-gf HPD/NPD/BPD? Crushed by Blindside Breakup

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Re: Ex-gf HPD/NPD/BPD? Crushed by Blindside Breakup

Postby xdude » Wed May 15, 2019 8:14 pm

Understood why seeing her in a negative light is hard for you to do, and it would come at a cost.

The only little bit I can add is that we've seen similar stories from others here before such as -

1.) He seemed so confident, charming, attentive, etc.
2.) She seemed so bubbly, affectionate, caring, etc.

In other words, they appeared as archetypes, and that's why I do wonder if you did meet someone who has one of those cluster B disorders. I cannot diagnose either, but my gut says you are likely right.

Maybe that's a way forward for you, because it is indeed very possible she has a PD, and that's why the situation is so screwy, and why it's so hard for you too.

One of the things we keep seeing on this forum is some relationships are relatively normal, and while a break up is painful, it's something people get over in time. On the flip side, those who are in relationships with people those PDs you wrote about in the topic tend to take much longer to get over it. It's hard to say is that because of the PD, or is that because people with those PDs tend to pick the ultra-sensitive as partners, but it's a pattern I've seen and believe in (again that is not science, or fact, just one person's opinion).

I do think though there is a difference between a couple that is going through some hard times, and one or the other cheats, and the PD case, where everything is going well, and on a whim the partner with a PD cheats or tosses their loving partner under a bus for some new source of attention/approval. It's very hard to make sense of how can it be that easy? Even if it's not cheating, just to be tossed aside so quickly is very hard to grasp in general, and combined with they seemed to be an ideal archetype earlier, it's not something a caring partner can get over easily.

That all written, I want to follow-up with a few more thoughts in another post.
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