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She is pregnant and confused on how to feel

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She is pregnant and confused on how to feel

Postby Ctilly » Wed Mar 13, 2019 8:34 pm

My roommate/ex- girlfriend, just found out she was pregnant. We struggle with what we are because of our past we are no longer a couple. We still sleep in the same bed are intimate together but no matter how much I try to fix and rekindle the relationship she doesn't want to commit. She will spend time with me go out with me, sleep with me and have sex yet if a guy comes in the picture she changes and distances herself emotionally. Sex continues and if it isn't going well with the guy she is close to me and comes to me with her complaints. So she was seeing this guy she was "in Love" with would have sex then come back and have sex with me. She found out she is pregnant, at first she said it had to be mine. Then as she thought more about it she thought it might have been his. I supported her either way but said that it very well could've been mine cause the time span we were having sex as well. She was all happy that I was supportive and was thinking of keeping the baby even though the other guy was pressuring her big to not keep it. Until the other night she asked how I would feel if it was his, I answered honestly and said I know that I would struggle at times with knowing it was a guys who was a dirt bag and that it was what I wanted with her when we were in a relationship. She got really upset at me that I said that saying things like I didn't want you to raise the baby together and if I acted anything like that to the baby she would write her out of her life. She put me in my place as not or ever being the babies father. Although before this we talked as if I would be like or actually the father. I was offended by most of what she said as well as disregarding the fact I may actually be the father. I got no respect to that possiblity and talked to about it like she did with him which kinda pissed me off too. Not only did I support her with what she wanted to do but would've helped raise it like my own. Do I have the right to be upset? Should I have not been honest and said I would struggle at times? I'm not saying I wouldn't love the baby but is it wrong to have times that I will struggle within myself about this?
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Re: She is pregnant and confused on how to feel

Postby xdude » Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:30 am

I think you have the right to be upset, life isn't just about her. You are involved, and her feelings don't matter more that yours do.

But my gut reaction is she is emotionally attached to this other guy, who may be the father. Putting aside which of you is the father, that's where her emotions are. From your point of view, who is there to support you? You matter equally. Again her feelings aren't special, they don't matter more than your own. Is there someone in your life who values you, or did you sink your emotions into someone who is putting someone else first.
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Re: She is pregnant and confused on how to feel

Postby Ctilly » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:18 pm

Thank you and you are right, I have sunk my emotions into her. Our past as a couple was anything but a smooth road. She was separated but not divorced he wound up moving back in and wanting to reconcile. I found out a ex girlfriend before her was 6months pregnant with my baby wanted to reconcile as well. Put alot of tension on the relationship and mistakes were made on both ends. I came clean on my faults,looked at myself and started to change what I didn't want to be. She still thinks she had no part in the break up, she did nothing wrong it was all me. My guilt for what I did not only caused me to lie for a long time but when It came out and I realized I have hurt the one I love and would change, never do it again and rebuild. She took advantage of it and holds it over my head whenever she wants. It's the perfect argument winner for her. No matter what is being argued about if she isn't in the right or doesn't like where it's going she uses I put us here and I'm the cause of why all this happened. Perfect justfication for anything she does to me, unfortunately I see it and try to argue my feelings but I will always feel guilty of my actions so I instantly lose and backdown. I love her and she knows it knows I want to make things right
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