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Ex girlfriend all cuddly but just wants to be friends

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Ex girlfriend all cuddly but just wants to be friends

Postby Lars77 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 9:35 am

Me and my ex-girlfriend recently started to have contact after more than 1,5 year since she broke up with me. She started to see a guy after a couple of months, they broke up about 5 months ago. I was the one initiating the contact, which has only been WhatsApp messages as my number is blocked (she blocked my number a couple of months after the breakup).

We went out for dinner about 3 weeks ago and she ended up sleeping at my place, no sex. She spend the next day at my place, when she left we hugged and I gave her a kiss. The following day she again spend the day at my place and when she left we again hugged and I gave her a kiss. I kept initiating contact and a week later I asked if she wanted to go bowling and she said yes, but wanted to know that I knew we are just friends and that friends doesn’t kiss each other on the mouth. I replied, yes we are friends. I asked again if she wanted to go out a couple of days later and she said yes but couldn’t that week as she is studying and working a lot. It often takes a while until she replies and they are often quite short.

About a week ago I send her a text where I told her that as she probably know I want to be more than friends, but if she just wants to be friends for now it’s better than not being anything at all. And that I can’t promise that at some time wanting to be more than friends but that I won’t be asking for more at this time. I didn’t get any reply, but she called me late last night and asked if I wanted to meet her and go back to her new place. We meet and I spend the night at her place, we cuddled a lot but no sex. She has told me that she has started to go to a psychologist and is going to start taking anti-depressives soon. Like I’ve told my ex I want to be more than friends, to take it slow. So I’m a bit confused why she wants to be all cuddly when we are together but only want to be just friends.
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Re: Ex girlfriend all cuddly but just wants to be friends

Postby Jerril » Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:05 am

We all have different boundaries. For her, she might just see you as a close friend at this stage, and she needs/wants a bit of comfort through physical closeness, but would see going further than cuddling and kissing on the cheek, as entering the "relationship" or "couple" area.

She also is going through a lot of new emotional stuff which may be confusing for her as well.

I suppose you'll have to figure out where your boundaries are in all of this. You had told you that you felt it best to cool it for awhile, but now you're back being cozy with her. For you, this would be frustrating, I would imagine. I guess if you go forward and keep being her close friend, you'll have to have really low expectations. And, the question I would have, if I were in your shoes, is "Can I not let this aggravate me, and just let things unfold whichever direction it takes, or do I want to put my attention into trying to date someone who is looking for a lover?"

Any new developments, by the way?
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Re: Ex girlfriend all cuddly but just wants to be friends

Postby whiteflag » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:53 pm

Always consider her actions, not her words.
She probably wants you to be her boyfriend, you just have to step up a little bit and be a man instead of following her whims.... I know, it's easier said than done!
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