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Weird attraction towards professor

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Weird attraction towards professor

Postby mallorysterling » Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:54 pm

We're both female, and she's 30 years older than me. I've been attracted to her before, but she became my internship supervisor and we're closer now. I hit on her in the 3rd year (we're in the 5th now), and she didn't reject me, but also didn't reciprocate. She just found it amusing and was obviously flattered since she would blush at me, smile, etc. It was funny tbh.

Here's the thing, I have become the student who's closest to her in class nowadays. She has talked about personal things of hers to me, complained about other students, and I push the boundaries a lot. Peers have commented that she looks like she has a preference towards me, since I've been rude to her and she never does anything, but if it were any other student she would've put them in their place. I have made inappropriate comments, kinda like "baby-ing" her, and she didn't back away, would keep the conversation going. She hugged and caressed me once. Lately I've been more sexually inappropriate, but she doesn't "feed" it though. Doesn't openly reject me either.

The thing is, I have no idea why I do this. I liked making her uncomfortable. Yet I liked cuddling her and baby-ing her. I'm highly sadistic, and for some reason it always reflects on her. These days she told me I upset her, and knowing that made me feel instant pleasure to the point where I smiled and she said "And perhaps that was your intention". But I'm also possessive of her, and feel jealousy very easily. I both want to have and hurt her, I don't know what to do. I did tell her about the jealousy, asked her to not say anything, and told her I'm working on it. I just don't know what motivates me anymore.
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Re: Weird attraction towards professor

Postby xiximmxi » Fri Oct 26, 2018 9:39 pm

Are you gay? Is she married to a man or straight and this is a "forbidden" feeling for you guys?
I think you might just be a flirt.. and enjoy the feeling of excitement / getting others excited for you. Nothing is wrong with that - just make sure you don't cross the boundary if you're not planning on getting serious with her. It's all fun and games til someone gets hurt :wink:
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