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Just Turned 39 And I Am Single Again....

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Just Turned 39 And I Am Single Again....

Postby Looking4Friends » Wed Oct 03, 2018 5:15 am

Finding a girlfriend is almost impossible. I met one female friend here about a year ago and we still skype twice a week and are close friends. But she does not want to have any children and I want to have at least one child, and most important she has a difficult time telling fantasy from reality, and her Dad hates me.

I have schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety, and a somatoform disorder. And if that wasn't enough I also have a fluid sexuality with a stronger physical attraction towards men most of the time. And a much stronger romantic attraction towards women. I can still get aroused towards women from time to time. But I also have erectile dysfunction from time to time with both genders. And due to my medication even when I get an erection a lot of times I have a difficult time ejaculating. Not to even mention I still live with my parents.

I might get a job at a Gold's Gym near me as a housekeeping assistant "janitor" but even that isn't doing me a whole lot of favors. And I'll still be making only about a 1,100 usd a month. I've tried just about all the dating sites and nobodies interested. I can't even get anyone to respond to me on match.com. I even tried nolongerlonely at one point. Just got out of a relationship with a Woman that I thought was sent to me by God. Then 2 months later she rips my heart out after I spent like 480 hours with her in a 2 month period of time. And I was extremely honest with her from the beginning. I've yet to completely give up. But there's got to be a woman out there for me somewhere. What should I do? What should I try next?

I realize I should concentrate on my job. When and if I get one. But am I going to grow old with nobody? My medications I'm on are working the best that they can. I wouldn't be trying to work again if they weren't working well. But trying to find somebody is tough. I really just want a woman to love and who will love me for the rest of her life. I thought I had that with my last girlfriend. But I guess I was wrong. Just looking for some answers and some help.
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Re: Just Turned 39 And I Am Single Again....

Postby CynicalDez » Mon Nov 05, 2018 9:59 am

Hello, Looking4Friends.

First off, my advice for you is to stop openly looking. This seems backwards, but we tend to find things when we don't look for them. You know, they pop up when we least expect them. So perhaps you're looking so hard that you don't see what might be in front of you. Relax a little.

Second, and take it from me, women KNOW when someone is desperate. Especially if it's dealing with a man. They reek of desperation and that will instantly turn a woman off. Men can get that sense as well. Instead, calm down a bit on the search and try to just take everything in. Be kind to both yourself and to others. Be friendly, be confident in yourself (confidence is sexy, even if it's faked). Fake it til you make it. Also, try to talk to people in person more. Maybe at your job or just compliment people in the store sometimes. Make sure those comments are nice, clean, and perhaps more detailed, like instead of saying "that outfit looks great on you" you could say "that dress/shirt/accessory really brings out the color/shape of your eyes" or something. Just don't target any X zones (chest, butt, crotch, you get it).

If possible, maybe you can get out and get involved in your community doing charitable work or around events. Anything to interact with people. Just do your best out there and meet people, without the specific goal of getting with someone. Let it flow. And if you get "friend zoned" (I really hate that term), there's nothing wrong with that. For one, friends make more connections, so it's better to have a friend than have no one. For another, most people want to be friends before becoming anything more. Establish relations with people and go from there, but don't come across as pushy or desperate.

And in the end, just breathe. Life is short, yes, but that time can be wasted worrying too much about not having an SO. Don't let that time go to waste or in the end, you could end up with not having an SO or anything else to be proud of. 39 years. You've gotten this far and you're doing great. You can definitely go farther and find your happiness.

I'm sorry if this isn't much help. It's all the advice I can offer. Good luck on your journey and do your best, but try to live your life as well. There's a difference in "living" and "surviving." The meaning is just different for everyone.
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