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Wanting a mother figure... extremely

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Wanting a mother figure... extremely

Postby Lilly26 » Wed Sep 26, 2018 4:43 am

Hi all!
This is a really good website, I''m glad I found you. I just discovered it while looking for similar cases which I can totally relate to:
For example..
borderline-personality/topic140467.html
relationship/topic24631.html
borderline-personality/topic170224.html

Background about myself:
- 26 yo - female, heterosexual (no sexual feelings toward other females).
- Single.
- Master degree in Business.
- Good job and live with father and lil brother, have my own place.
- Lost my mother at the age of 18, so that's 8 years ago --- still miss her every day.
- 1 step-sister who is married but extremely abusive, lives in a different country and we only talk in family gathering. I gave up on her long time ago. She didn't like my mother either.

I'm now fighting emotional battle called Mother-Figure Obsession. It's ruining my life.

This 'mother-figure obsession' started at an early age, I remember loving my kindergarten teacher and being obsessed about her; hug her everyday and cry if she's not there.
In elementary school, I had an art teacher who taught us drawing lessons twice a week, I'd always dress nice (and chose the cutest hair-clippers on that day!).
At University, I was obsessed with my female professor, who is a mother of 4. I'd send her emails everyday and share random tweets and news articles. Of course, she thought first, that I'm doing this for extra marks until I actually admit to her that I see her as a mother-figure. She was neutral in her response though, didn't change anything (ie. didn't give extra attention).

Now, at the age of 26, as a grown woman, it's very rare when someone shows mother affection towards me. But inside of me, I feel a little baby.

I met this lady, few months ago, who is like 5 years older than me (31 yo), but she's a mother of 3 already. A great mother actually, who spoils me with food and sometime invites me over her place - as a friend. We both have good time, shared laughs and memories.

But then,.. I developed that little feeling towards her. Yes, that mother-figure obsession, and it's intense and insane this time-- to say the least! I'd imagine her being my carer, my mother-figure, ...etc.
She's also breastfeeding her toddler, and now and then she tells me how she's not ready for weaning the baby because she loves motherhood feelings. That drives me insane, because I need her motherhood feelings also, so much.

I now feel more physically in need for affection. She's there, she's caring. A tiny 'hello/goodbye hug' doesn't do justice for my feelings anymore. I want cuddles, I want to smell her and sleep beside her. I want her to put me to sleep, play with may hair until I fall asleep.
I actually - and I admit - that I sometime when I'm sick or having hard time sleeping, will just imagine her breastfeeding me to sleep. I know .. this is insane, but I can't help myself. :oops: :oops:

The imagination (day-dreaming) makes me feel better, but reality is so much different. I want to turn my reality, positively and build stronger relationship with her.


--As a side note, I'm good in all other aspects of life. Educated, good paying job, taking care of my family, an active member of several mother-children related associations and local charity organisations.

Just wanted to share my story, and maybe her from mothers here. If you have a friend like me, and know that I have those feelings, what would you do?
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Re: Wanting a mother figure... extremely

Postby Lilly26 » Mon Oct 01, 2018 5:15 pm

looking for a comforting response...
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Re: Wanting a mother figure... extremely

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Fri Oct 05, 2018 12:43 pm

I'm the last person to give you a comforting response. I just found this thread interesting as I learned some new words today and I want to ask you to pick which words describe your feelings for these older women.

“Eros” or Erotic Love.
“Philia” or Affectionate Love.
“Storge” or Familiar Love.
“Ludus” or Playful Love.
“Mania” or Obsessive Love.
“Pragma” or Enduring Love.
“Philautia” or Self Love.
“Agape” or Selfless Love.

I apologize for not being able to actually help as I am not maternal. I thought it interesting if you would define it a little better.
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