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Single and lonely at 30. Why did this happen to me?

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Single and lonely at 30. Why did this happen to me?

Postby Markness » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:56 pm

I am 30 years old and single. I haven't dated since 2015 and I am socially isolated due to having Asperger's syndrome. My attempts to get out of my rut have all ended in failure and I keep going through the days alone with no hope on the horizon. Why did this happen to me and why can't I ever get better? :( I especially feel lonely on Fridays and the weekends due to people partying while my invitation to the social scene got lost in the mail.
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Re: Single and lonely at 30. Why did this happen to me?

Postby Quoth » Sat Sep 22, 2018 3:23 am

Weren’t you going to kill yourself if you were single when you got to 30?

My point really isn’t to suggest that you should but simply to highlight that there is quite a lot of melodramatics going on here.

Over the past however many years you’ve had pretty much every form of sympathy and mollycoddling possible in a digital environment from users here. Not that that doesn’t have its place but given you’ve reached this point, it objectively hasn’t worked.

Having read through it’s clear that you don’t really care about being single, or at least you don’t care enough to effect change, which is essentially the same thing. You’d rather whinge about it to get sympathy from a pack of strangers on the internet. By all means continue but it was fairly clever guy who pointed out that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results was the definition of stupidity.

My suggestion, such as it is, is to objectively examine where and why you’re going wrong, what factors are working against you and which of those you can or cannot control. Set some realistically achievable objectives and work out how to achieve them. Come to terms with the fact that this problem lands on your shoulders alone and that only you can fix it. Then use a thread here or elsewhere as a kind of progress diary so that people here actually have something to provide emotional support over.

Alternatively you can carry on as you have been.
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Re: Single and lonely at 30. Why did this happen to me?

Postby xdude » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:47 am

Hey Markness,

I've written this before. Since I don't have Asperger's syndrome, I am at a loss to suggest anything more than I have already suggested. I don't know what that is like.

I do think though you are suffering from depression, and often that requires professional help, but yea, understood you are struggling with something most don't.

About the only thing I can write then is that some of the people I admire the most in life are those who have had to carry a greater load. Challenge could have beat them down, but they chose to end up stronger for it. Nobody knows why some get a lucky starting hand in life, while some don't.
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