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ocd Boyfriend just broke up with me for anxiety. Help.

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ocd Boyfriend just broke up with me for anxiety. Help.

Postby KYBombshell » Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:45 pm

I am in so much pain right now, mentally, physically. My ex boyfriend has been having issues for a while, and as of Wednesday, he just snapped. At first, I started noticing that he was deleting everyone off of everything; discord chats, steam friends, made a new facebook. He said he loved me, but he just didn't think he could do it anymore. He's been telling me about issues with his anxiety where it focuses on the relationship, and his sexuality...and all his issues sound just like the ones I used to have. ROCD/HOCD.

He constantly says he doesn't know what he wants, but he really believed that this relationship couldn't work while he's like this. But he still shows so much that he cares, and he's guilty of not being able to talk with me because of his anxiety. And while he knows I understand and I'm there for him, he doesn't want anything anymore. He can't enjoy anything anymore.

I can always hope that, maybe, he comes back around, but I know I can't believe that or rely on it, as much as I want to. I was with him for almost three years in a long distance relationship, and I just love him so much. I can't stop crying, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop my anxiety now. I'm just falling apart. I love that man more than anything in this world, and I'm just in so much pain, and knowing he's in pain too makes it worse.
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Re: ocd Boyfriend just broke up with me for anxiety. Help.

Postby Tahiti12 » Wed Sep 26, 2018 1:26 am

Hi , just wondered how you are now and how things are going and I wanted to tell you about my experience too .
I'm guessing you are only youngish and I am one of the oldies on here but my companion of 27yrs ! Has recently told me i ( in a manic spell , as he has got bipolar disorder , that he has recently felt feelings for someone else . -- I know this iis different to your situation but it's really all to do with illness isn't it ? As mania can have these funny effects of making people go off with someone else apparently and also reckless driving etc etc .excessive Gambling , drinking , no sleeping . We are / were more like companions at our age but I'm naturally still shocked and upset . I've suffered with ocd , bdd , and general anxiety all my life and I'm hoping it's not going to make me worse , just like you are worried . I'm hoping he gets different too but he had to come off lithium after 40 Ty's because of kidney trouble and has now gone high and I don't know what else he can have. We don't live together and he is in supported accommodation , where he has been confiding with this lady resident , who he says he has got fond of recently ( she's been there a few years but he has gone more social, which is another thing they can do with mania .
Your boyfriend will most likely have a better spell at some point and will want to be in touch again .
Meanwhile , keep in touch with me if you want and we can see if we can help each other out with anxiety symptoms and just in general. Pam .
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Re: ocd Boyfriend just broke up with me for anxiety. Help.

Postby Snaga » Wed Sep 26, 2018 6:41 pm

Being OCD, sometimes the ROCD bug bites me- I'm also I think not quite BPD, but definitely have some Borderline traits, and get easily infatuated (I'm male, btw). Then feel guilty, etc., start overthinking the relationship I'm in, wondering if it's right, etc etc etc. I have to remind myself that it's probably normal for everyone to find someone else interesting from time to time, and normies apparently don't lose too much sleep over liking someone other than their s/o from time to time- providing ofc that they're not having an affair or anything. But some of us put so much more importance on thoughts, even when there's no acting on them. Just my thoughts on it. I've never been much of one to confess ROCD thoughts and assorted Borderline-esque infatuations to my other half (that would be called, 'having a death wish', and I don't, so... yeah I'll pass on that impulse). And I've logically thought wow well if I don't love her, enough, then I should break up and.... what? Who would I love enough? What constitutes loving someone enough? Hell, what's love? I can run around in mental circles all day long with that kind of rumination. So it seems practical to remind myself of what I do have, and not worry overmuch if I love 'enough'.

Like the OP said, maybe both your guys will come back around and remember what they have in their hand, rather than endlessly wringing their hands over what-ifs.....
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