@xDude, sorry pal' i have to go, i will answer you later.
pamelaperejil wrote:I don't think the way you look is the problem here.
I think it is just the start, what started everything.
bobok wrote:This here is your biggest issue, people don't wanna be around 'bitter' when there's so many fun confident people out there. Get rid of those negative feelings through sports or something and you'll notice the change in type of people you attract.
I was like this once, now I'm following a way for the anger managment and acting like a total kind guy... i mean, i have always been kind (others said this), but just with this issue that I'm trying to deal with. Anyway I tried with everything, taking walks, cooking, basics things like videogame and nothing... to me seems like just a way to avoid the fact i repel women.
bobok wrote:Being serious with someone involves not sticking your tongue in other people's throats. You complain about not being able to find a girl and once you actually do find one, the first thing you do is self-sabotage and cheat on her? Fear of intimacy right here.
I know, I did a mistake; i felt bad for months.
Anyway yes, I'm the first to say that I'm an idiot.. even for the fact that if I find one, i have to hold her close. But I don't know, anyway I really cared about her; I always offer everything 'cause she had not money and I wanted to go out with her, once I took my car and I ran to her 'cause she was sad.
Then she wanted to leave me for a stupid thing, and then I confessed about the kiss and she left me definitely. Then i tried again, but she was a wall and other things happened. Well, on May i said something wrong and she said that if i still thought to come back with her I was a stupid.
Sure I wasn't the best of guy, but I don't think to have been the worst neither, and most of bad things came after she dumped me up, so I was angry. Anyway, I really talked a lot for months like everywhere. So I will try to be short. xD Just sayin' that she wasn't the best too.
bobok wrote:This makes no sense. Everybody faces rejection at some point. Doesn't mean it will keep repeating. If it does happen, learn from it and leave it behind. Getting hung up on failures is a recipe for disaster.
Sure everybody gets rejections.. the quantity matters.
The worst for girls is like getting hot guys on tinder, being f**ked and then dumped up, which is bad, but men are like... ignored?
I got i-dont-know-how-many rejections, we are not machine, after few times hopes and self confidence go away.
bobok wrote:What does skinny fat mean? (I'm not a native speaker, sounds like an oxymoron)
Whoever says looks don't matter is a blatant liar, though your obsession with it seems unhealthy.
Not all girls want the stereotypical tall-dark-handsome boyfriend. Those that do will probably not want to be with you and that is fine, everyone's entitled to have their own criteria. Try keeping your criteria realistic and seek what you yourself have to offer.
I'm not a die-hard-fan of gym-muscles, it's plastic/trying-too-hard kind of beauty to me. I do like handsome, but in sort of a natural bohemian 'I don't give a crap what I look like but still do' kind of way.
Skinny fat means that you are skinny, but with some parts that look fat. You look flaccid, mine is a problem of too much skin. Check on google image.. i can't explain it better, sorry. lol
No, they all want that, just it is not said that they will get that kind of man, not for a long term story at least. Beauty is kinda objective.
I can deal that not everyone wants me, I mean settling for relationships is not that bad if you do it for your potential (i don't know if i'm clear), world works like this. But here it is a discussion about that you have nobody for a long period of time (one in 22 years?), if you find someone, even if the worst person in the world, you have to do the slave (don't take it litterally) for not being alone again .
What I have to offer? What do you mean? Material things? I don't have many of those.. you mean sentimental things? Those is what everybody can offer, and so we return on choicing for what makes you better than others: look.
Women's criteria are too much.. Having one girl 'cause she's the only one who cares about you, while she's having fun with who she wants to. You don't know how many times this happened
bobok wrote:Like I said - this here is the main issue. All these questions you pose are a symptom of fear of getting hurt. And so you self-sabotage by French-kissing random people. I wouldn't say you spit blood to find a girl. You're only 22 and you've mentioned couple of them in your post already. Think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. You're doing okay for someone who hasn't really tried that hard yet. And you've been rated as 'handsome' by many in that page you mention.
I'd chill if I were you. Go out more. And suck it up whenever you face a rejection. Rejection is not a proof of your worthlessness, people also reject out of fear, insecurities, unresolved issues with past lovers, sometimes they're just in a bad mood and don't feel like talking to a stranger or came to a club with a sole purpose to dance, not meet people.
What is truly unattractive is unhealthy low confidence, people taking rejection personally and dropping the mask of politeness and manners once they're faced with a no. Taking it personally is what is creating bitterness and bitterness is way more unattractive than 'skinny fat' whatever that is.
I quit trying hard after I got something like 20 rejections in a row.
I mean, i approach with girls as well now... but just if I see that she is interested too, if she talk with me for first, etc. If I'm not sure then i give up. Rarely I approach for first, if i'm drunk maybe, or if i know that girls and we had fun once. But sometimes they just become tired, and that hurt as well.
I mean, many are not interested, and the few that are interested can lose that state. lol
bobok wrote:What does any of this have to do with racism?

I explain bad myself. xD Just sayin' I don't hate poligamous love, bisexuality, sex freedom etc, but sure make things harder. Why someone should choose someone else with a low level, if with this things you can find someone else better in a blink?
Anyway I already made an appointment with a psychiatric, and for many i have low testosterone level, uff we'll see. I just know that I can't live well like this.