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Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

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Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby Fogged » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:24 pm

This is my first post. If it is in the wrong place, please point me in the right direction.

I have a (past) relationship that left me with many questions. Some reading here makes me think "histrionic PD" or "dependant PD" or a combination, or perhaps just immature? I am not sure. There is also very little I can find here on dependant PD. How does one distinguish between histrionic and dependant?
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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby xdude » Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:30 pm

Hey Fogged,

Just a personal opinion (so this is not fact) -

There may well be some overlap, but keep in mind that the cluster B personalities types (that includes HPD, and BPD) are defined such -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_B ... _disorders

"Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior and manipulative, exploitative interactions with others."

You can find some definitions that leave out the manipulative, exploitative trait, but the key descriptive part about dramatic, out of the norm emotional, unpredictable, impulsive, etc., remains.

So maybe the answer is -

Someone with HPD may also be dependent, but someone who is diagnosed as dependent isn't necessarily unusually emotional, erratic, etc.
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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby perejil » Sun Jun 17, 2018 6:10 am

xdude wrote:So maybe the answer is -

Someone with HPD may also be dependent, but someone who is diagnosed as dependent isn't necessarily unusually emotional, erratic, etc.


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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby perejil » Sun Jun 17, 2018 7:33 am

Between histrionic and borderline?

Unstable self image is more common with BPD. I think extreme feelings of anger are more common too. Borderlines often self harm. As I understand it, histrionics are considered more in control and goal directed in their emotions/manipulativeness while borderlines are more out of control/self destructive, like a child throwing a fit. In other words, histrionics manipulate with greater success. I think histrionics have a slightly greater need for attention for attention's own sake. They are considered flirtier.

There's considerable overlap between BPD and HPD. If I may ask: is there a reason it's important to make the distinction?
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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby xdude » Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:27 pm

I didn't ask, but guessing Fogged wants to know so he can heal.

Fogged wrote -

Fogged wrote:I have a (past) relationship that left me with many questions.


It's common/normal that partners (and significant others in general) of people with personality disorders often end up deeply depressed. Part of their healing process, almost invariably, includes reviewing, and sorting out their memories of what happened in a new light.

It's also common/normal that partners start with an intense focus on trying to understand the PD. Whether it's the 'I am not alone, others have been through this too', or seeing this painful exchanges in a new light (i.e., it wasn't all me, it was my personality disordered partner too), or even if it's just the focus on intellectualizing vs the emotions, whatever the reasons, almost everyone goes through this phase.

Later, hopefully, the focus shifts to self. Again, hopefully. Why did I get involved with someone with a PD? What did I get out of it? Why did I hang in there as long as I did? What did I believe or want the outcome to be?
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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby perejil » Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:31 pm

Ah, yes. There's a lot of nay-saying about people who diagnose their ex's, but honestly, I would want to know. To figure it out. Of course someone would.
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Re: Distinguishing between dependant, histrionic and borderline

Postby xdude » Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:50 pm

perejil wrote:Ah, yes. There's a lot of nay-saying about people who diagnose their ex's, but honestly, I would want to know. To figure it out. Of course someone would.


There is a lot of nay-saying for sure, but yes, it's also entirely understandable human nature to want to know. I think it's fine that people want to figure it out (especially if their partner is the type who isn't ever likely to seek professional assistance).

There is also a grey area between diagnosing like a professional must do, and the normal person who is guessing, but whose goal is to figure out what happened? The later means no harm by seeking answers.

I also suspect that some fear labeling because it's also human nature that next step... there may be a period of intense anger, and most people fear anger (it's WRONG to feel that way), but the 5 or 7 stages of grief applies. Anger is a stage, but usually passes too. If a guessed diagnosis helps them to move through the healing stages, then good enough.
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