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Are we toxic for each other?

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Are we toxic for each other?

Postby Kara97 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:28 pm

I met this girl at a summer job last year and we clicked. We started going out with mutual friends and got close.
We'd play fight, sit on each other's laps. We hold hands when we're alone or crossing the street. We call each other baby, hun, love etc. When we're out in a group, she gives me the most attention. But sometimes it got a little strange. We'd have intense eye contact and I've caught her staring at my lips on several occasions.
One day she told me "I think I've a crush on you. Is it weird?" She had a boyfriend at the time (we're both girls) so I laughed it off. Another time she said "I'm falling for you."

She used to invite me over to her house while her parents slept. We would smoke and cuddle in her bed, then she'd sneak me out by morning. One day before I was about to leave, she kissed my forehead and said she loves me. Then she leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose and giggled.
Then one day her mom walked in on her cuddling into me on her bed. Her mother called her disgusting and hit her infront of me. (No not exaggerating)

She travelled back for college and calls me everyday and we speak for hours at night. She always tells me she misses me and my cuddles, and how much she adores and loves me.
Sometimes she sends me "sexy" photos/videos revealing her body. And once when we video called she was only wearing a bra and sweats.
Then we argued because her boyfriend (who she has a rocky relationship with) thinks I'm a bad influence on her, to which I said that I'll be away from her. She kept calling and left me a message* "If you leave me my life will be screwed up. You're so special to me, you're my entire world. We cannot be apart I can't live without you"
She told me she feels her bf is cheating on her and she doesn't feel the same way she used to. And then she broke up with him.
A few days later she told me she had a dream where we were fighting and then I kissed her lips. She said it felt good. I avoided that subject but she brings it up sometimes to joke about it.
She said she wants to travel with me abroad to a new college and move in together. And so we did.
Initially I supported her financially But we've been fighting a lot. She would bite me really hard or slap me and I would get traumatic flashbacks from the abuse I faced. And I would drink a lot. and we decided she should move out.
She's also been going around and talking badly behind my back to boys especially, saying I was gay and tried to sexually abuse her.

Why is she doing this? Please advice me to see things from her perspective.
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Re: Are we toxic for each other?

Postby perejil » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:56 pm

In a word, yes.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.

—Walt Whitman
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Re: Are we toxic for each other?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:15 pm

she's doing this to make herself feel better. she lacks self-esteem. she previously latched onto you as the source of her emotional wellbeing. now that's no longer working she needs to invalidate that experience in order to purge herself of you. deep down she still has feeling for you which she must destroy or face the truth that she's lost something valuable in her life.

you might say that she's toxic, however, that's a little over-simplistic. she's self-destructive, really.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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