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I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby Desesperado » Sun Jan 28, 2018 3:03 pm

Well since those people end up always hurting us, you just don't have contact with them at all, that's as simple as it is.
Since you said you're a serial monogamist, I'd advise you to decide being single a good while, live things only for yourself, make new experiences and expand your horizons.
Because finding a new relationship, basically stops you from really facing yourself and working on your shortcomings, that's really tough but you'll benefit a lot from this later and believe me it's best to do it while you're 24, I didn't get there until 35 for different reasons and I wish I'd have done this earlier.
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby ImWeird » Sun Jan 28, 2018 10:13 pm

I will definitely take the things you guys said into consideration. Thank you very much :)
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby xdude » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:07 pm

Hey ImWeird,

I think the posters here are trying to help you avoid making a mistake that will leave you hurt, but it's also human nature, sometimes we have to do what we feel compelled to do, really live it, and experience the consequences (positive or negative) before we can move forward.
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby ImWeird » Mon Jan 29, 2018 7:01 pm

xdude wrote:Hey ImWeird,

I think the posters here are trying to help you avoid making a mistake that will leave you hurt, but it's also human nature, sometimes we have to do what we feel compelled to do, really live it, and experience the consequences (positive or negative) before we can move forward.

This!!! I think thats why my mind is off right now.
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby ImWeird » Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:38 pm

So, a little update on my situation which left me kind of stunned. :shock:

For the past 2+ weeks (i think) we don't chat on facebook, just some random pictures that she sent to me. I have moved on from her 8 out of 10 (on a 10 scale) so it stopped bugging me.Today we have a carnival day tradition in my country and we planned to go out at a club (the 4 of us and some friends of mine). Yesterday she told me that she broke up with the old dude and now she is dating a young guy since sunday and he wants to meet us because they are gonna be in the same club with us. She asked me if im okay with that. I said its gonna be a tad awkward but i am fine with it and what happened between us is in the past and thats where it will remain. I really am fine with meeting this guy but it doesnt make any sense for me.

Can anyone comprehend that logic? Because i cannot :)
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby xdude » Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:05 pm

Hey ImWeird,

My take is that she is playing the good-old (not really good) triangulation game card.

Looks like she has, predictably, replaced one supply source with a new source. See, that didn't take long ;)

If you can, avoid that triangulation proposal too. There is nothing in it for you, and she didn't suggest it for your benefit. It's for her. If she can evoke any bit of emotion from you she wins. Jealousy will be the sweetest for her, but even increased interest on your part will suffice. Not because she cares about you, because she gets little short term ego boosts out of it when others 'want' her. Short term, because as soon as that ego boost is obtained, she will be off seeking the next boost.

Seriously though man, you have dodged a bullet. Spare yourself hurting you.
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby Holodeck » Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:35 pm

What xdude said. Chances are she was messaging/hooking up with the younger guy when she was with you and the older one.
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby xdude » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:50 pm

For whatever it's worth ImWeird,

I know what you are going through. You got love bombed by someone who does so on a whim, and that is hard to accept in retrospect. In the moment it feels great. What a huge self-esteem boost! There really is no kindness in doing this to someone, but people who are purely focused on their own wants don't care who gets hurt. Emotions are a game, and the goal is to obtain new temporary ego boosts for themselves (or whatever it is they want).

There is something else to ponder too...

Odds are you, like most males in modern cultures, you have a healthy respect for women. You hold them in high regard, care about their feelings (or at least try), and you hold some beliefs about how you wish to be treated in return. Good stuff.

What is not so good is when those same positive beliefs get twisted, used by someone who is purely self-interested. This lesson can be a HUGE shock to us guys. Perhaps you can see when other males are being disingenuous, and maybe you can even pick out the con men? It is quite the painful experience to learn that so can females, and some percent are extreme game players, just like men can be.

It can take time to readjust your thinking, but if you absolutely must go through with this meet up with him and her, try to go in with eyes wide open, and I would like to suggest, go in with jaded eyes. Assume the worst, and have her prove otherwise. I know that sounds cold too, but sometimes to re-balance our perspective we have to force ourselves out of our own norm.

The real reason to do so is for you. So that next time around, you avoid repeating a situation that has hurt you, and for what purpose? She got a few cheap ego boosts out of it. Was it worth it?

(by the way this can all be flipped around, sometimes women who mean well, also fall for the love bombing of purely self-interested men, and end up hurt too).
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Re: I don't know what i should do with this girl-it's eating me

Postby ImWeird » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:09 pm

I know for a fact that she met him 10-15 days ago but thats not the case. Yeah, i have wasted enough energy for that girl, i am not gonna bother anymore. Actually, i feel like its gonna look ridiculous on my eyes, dunno why. Looks like shes trying to prove something.

I am not gonna get involved in that triangle of course. This part is over for me, im not even interested in banging her anymore (like my initial "plan" was). We might meet each other once in a month or so (with our 2 other mutual friends) for a coffee but that's all, the sexual part is gone (on my end).

@xDude, it hurt a lot in the beginning, now i feel fine. I can now see the empty words that she was throwing at me and recognize how fake they were. Or just in a heat of the moment. I have the same respect for women that i have for men aswell. I personally dont like playing with people's emotions and feelings, i always try to be honest and direct to the people around me but that doesnt seem to be working too well.People like the big words and the asshole attitude, its like most of them are mazochists.
Ive had my share with psycho girls (seems like i attract them) but the last situation was a new one for me, lesson learnt however. I am willing to meet her new boyfriend actually :wink: Perhaps i could save the poor lad hahahaha.
Also yeah, i know everyone gets hurt, i hate double standards. And thanks for your support, all of you. It helped me :)


I will keep updating this if i have something interesting to add, perhaps just like a diary or a heads up for anyone who gets in a similar situation, so they know what to expect.
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