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Step dad who is being pushed out

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Step dad who is being pushed out

Postby Dave4180 » Sat May 06, 2017 12:16 am

Im a step father of 2 and recently we think our oldest child has asbergers syndrome but not diagnosed. Mother finding it really hard to take in and im finding it hard to support her, desperately need advise as when i feel im doing the right thing she turns on me saying i dont understand and she feels like she wants to leave even tho she has not voiced any issues even tho ive been asking if shes ok. I love her and want to be the person she can talk too. Any advice???
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Re: Step dad who is being pushed out

Postby seabreezeblue » Sat May 06, 2017 9:38 am

Hey Dave - welcome (:

I'm going to move you over to the relationship forum in a moment, and leave a shadow here. The relationship forum is quite a bit busier, and the mods and other members are great at giving advice for situations like yours.

If you'd like to, and you'd find it helpful, you're very welcome to post in the Aspergers forum for advice as well.. you can find us here; asperger-syndrome/

I have aspergers myself, so anything you want to ask, feel free.

On to your situation though..

I was wondering if you do something similar to me when someone has a problem.. I naturally assume that the person is similar to me, and when they talk about their problems, they're doing so in the hopes of finding a solution to it.
It's taken me a long time to learn that most people talk to get support rather than solutions and have you fix things for them.
It sounds to me like you might be trying to fix things and that's what's happening when you say that ''I feel like I'm doing the right thing''

What kind of things have you been doing to try and help?

In addition to having aspergers, I also have a child with aspergers/high fuctioning autism.. and strangely, the diagnosis hit me quite hard.
I think for me, it was the solid fact that her struggles would be permanent that upset me.. that she'd always be facing certain difficulties, and she'd never be able to live in the world and fit, as easily as I'd always hoped she would be able to..

Maybe your wife/partner feels similarly right now, and your efforts at trying to fix things, are being seen as hostile because she'd like you to support more than attempt to fix.

Might be completely wrong.. but does any of that make sense at all for you?
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: Step dad who is being pushed out

Postby Warrior77 » Mon May 22, 2017 1:49 pm

It is really hard to give you an advice, you are going through a hard moment.

I hope everything gets well soon
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