Want to make my gf feel special, suggestions???

Hi,

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. We lived together for the past 9 months. We've been going through some rough times. I lied to her repeatedly about watching porn, which I am sorry for and I vow to never to do again. This last time I lied about it she had enough. We almost broke up, but instead we decided to give things another try. This time she wants me to move out, which I can understand and I have agreed to.

I am very sorry for what I put her through. I want to make her feel special. What I did to her really hurt her in a lot of ways. She even questioned her appearance, which to me was never the issue. I am very, VERY attracted to her and I love her very much. I want to show her how much I love her without being over-bearing.

I understand that my chances of rebuilding my relationship with her really hinge on whether or not she can trust me again. But for now I really want her to know how special she is to me, Without being overbearing or too cheesey.

Suggestions Please!!! I'm self admittedly not the most romantic guy!

ask her to sit and talk to you, like mature adults, and tell you what you can do to make it up to her and to show her you want to change. also, if whatever it is you are struggling with thats hurting her is a big problem in your life, maybe consider seeing a therapist or help group, which would indicate to her you really are serious about her feelings and changing.

as for something special- i dunno- since you're not on the best terms it's hard to do something without it looking like you're just trying to arse- creep her to get back in her good books.

all girls are different but generally we do like flowers- also what about a really nice evening somewhere special. like does she like the theatre? like ballet or broadway/west-end? it's a chance to be a bit more larny than usual and a way to really spoil her and make her feel special. otherwise a simple romantic picnic somewhere beautiful, like the beach or lake or river or park. and have a few candles and a bit of soft music through your ipod docker. if possible, maybe have her follow clues to get to the place that will spark her curiosity. she might just be inpressed at your effort to be original and think of something like that.

whatever it is you do- be humble and eat humble pie. if she's peed off at you for your actions, then you need to be reeeeeeeally sorry and dont be tempted to get shirty if she gets at you. her trust is down and she feels vulnerable, so anyway you can show her your love would prob help...

hope you come right..

I'm with sniffles on this one.

Tell her you're serious about changing, that you love her and that you really want this relationship to work. Ask her what she feels needs to happen for it to work.

If you think there is something you need to work on yourself (ie if you feel you have a porn addiction or a need to hurt her or whatever you thing is important, it may just be a safe place to talk about your feelings, which is usually beneficial, particularly for men, who aren't usually too good at that!) then go for individual counselling.

Suggest you go together for couples counselling. Sometimes its actually EASIER to communicate with an impartial third party in the room helping to refocus the discussion!

I can see why the lying upset her, but does the porn of itself upset her? If its the porn then have you thought about finding porn that appeals to her and talking about it/watching it with her? (Women often respond better to something like erotic fiction, stuff that stimulates the imagination, if you can explain the appeal it has for you and that its not about her being inadequate in any way, then she may find it easier to accept. Nancy Friday's Forbidden Flowers may be a good book to start with.)

A big romantic gesture may just seem like sucking up. Sure, do something special when she comes over, cook, do the washing up afterwards, light candles during, tell her you love her, but don't go overboard. You can't buy back trust.

Hope this helps!