Our partner

RAD Adult

Reactive Attachment Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

RAD Adult

Postby clearblue » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:29 am

Hello,

It's hard for me to say exactly what has gone on in my many years on this planet, but viewing some old home movies, the missing parts in my childhood have now come into their rightful place.

Basically, I was born into a family that was already disintigrated, parents split up and despising one another and loathing themselves. 2 siblings who were inappropriate with each other, the age differences between them and I many years. I was, the afterthought, the product of one night of drunken stupor and my mother's desperate attempts at getting pregnant so she'd have something for herself when her husband finally slammed the door.

That's the reality I was born into.
Viewing the videos I see an angelic child.
Later, age 7, the reality of the family dynamics started hitting and hitting and hitting. From angelic I turned into a demonic child, eating disorders, regression, lying, food hoarding, temper tantrums and suicide ideation. The only thing I could connect to was animals. For me they were my real family. These humans around me seemed all to be insane and their sole purpose with me seemed to turn me into one of them. Crazy and crazy-making.

I have my theories on all of this. I never spoke to any adult with this disorder and I'd like to, if only to share thoughts and theories and how to break through to the other side.

Summary - I was raised in isolation and in sensory deprivation, combined with ritual abuse, psychological, emotional - consistently to the age of 12. They took an angelic child and turned her into a demon through torture. Fast-forward 58 years, I am a hermit. Raised in isolation, live in isolation.

This is not a request for sympathy, just a shout out to anyone else like this to connect with. Thank you.
clearblue
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:20 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:39 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: RAD Adult

Postby Chant2012 » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:57 am

Hello and welcome. I do not have RAD so I can't really empathize in that aspect, but I have undergone a fair share of abuse throughout my life starting in really early childhood up until teenage and young adult years. Spiritual and religious abuse, emotional, sexual, psychological, verbal, physical. Possibly even what people could call 'torture' but it was never Satanic or anything like that. I believe everything that you've said. I know some people who were ritually abused. You're not alone. Feel free to PM/add as friend if you want to. Support to you.
Chantel

Dx: (Some unofficial)
*ADHD: age 9
*Major Depressive Disorder: age 19
*C-PTSD: age 21
*Personality Disorder NOS: age 22
*Anorexia Nervosa: age 22
*Fibromyalgia: age 24
*DID/DDNOS: age 24 (waiting on official diagnosis)

MY STORY post1430557.html#p1430557
User avatar
Chant2012
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 314
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:17 am
Local time: Fri Mar 05, 2021 12:39 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: RAD Adult

Postby clearblue » Tue Apr 19, 2016 5:50 pm

Thank you.
clearblue
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:20 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:39 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Reactive Attachment Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests