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RAD adoption?

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RAD adoption?

Postby Nimbus » Tue Nov 03, 2015 6:00 am

I'm only in my teens so I'm not old enough to adopt yet but I'm asking this because I've wanted to adopt a child since I was like ten years old. I did some reading about RAD and I've heard adoption stories and it can be hard but I wanted to adopt a child with RAD. I know that adoption laws vary but can you generally ask to adopt a child with a specific disorder (RAD)? I know you can request a certain age or gender but could you request this?
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Re: RAD adoption?

Postby seabreezeblue » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:08 am

I'm unsure of the answer but what you could do is to call your local social services/child protectiion offices and ask them for advice on whether this is feasible or not.

Can i ask why you specifically want a child with RAD though? and also.. you have a post on the autism forum where you talk about some difficulties that you experience.. I was wondering how you'd manage your aversion to loud noises and your need for routine if you do adopt a child with RAD..?

Fostering/adoption etc is incredibly tough at the best of times - the child will usually have some issues unless they've been incredibly lucky and have always had their needs met. Most children in the care system will have attachment issues when you first get them and even the best natured child will be a huge challenge - you will not have time for yourself for a long time and it is a huge huge commitment.
The child will need intense therapy.. they will need constant supervision around pets/objects (especially sharp/dangerous ones)/other children..

I'm not saying any of this to deter you.. more to ask whether you would be a good fit for a child with severe attachment and anger issues.. because while adopting a child like this is amazing.. I know that i would personally struggle hugely to do so and i wouldn't want to take one on unless i knew 100% that the relationship wouldn't break down.
Far too many of these adoptions and foster placements suffer breakdown - the child pushes and pushes and pushes at boundaries and refuses to be loved - they can't cope with further hurt so they shove any warm feelings away.. they are dangerous for them in what has always been a hugely hostile world.

One thing i will suggest if you're determined to try this is that you take some parenting classes.. you have some counselling and you study attachment in depth - and i mean in serious depth.
Also see if you can volunteer somewhere that you can see adoptive/foster children interacting with their birth and new families - maybe you can volunteer at a contact/visitation centre - or maybe you can volunteer at a social services/child protection centre and shadow a social worker for a while..
It takes a huge huge amount of specialist knowledge to really get through to a child with RAD.. even specialists in the field that have adopted children have had placement breakdowns.

But most of all - i wish you the best in whatever decision you make xx
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