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What type of attachment disorder do I have?

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What type of attachment disorder do I have?

Postby TonySG » Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:06 am

I am a 34 year old male and new to this site. I have recently come to the understanding that I have a attachment disorder. I was hoping someone could help me pin-point which type.

Growing up (and still) my mother was/is very over-protective and over mothering of me. But, at the same time my father was/is an alcoholic who was abusive towards my mother. He used to come in and out of our lives.

I realize that I got very attached to my mother due to over-mothering style. I think I tried to ignore my father for the most part as he scared me when drunk.

The symptoms I have shown in my life are - extreme shyness as a child and upto my mid-20's. Trouble making eye contact with anyone. Very anxious. Always thinking the worst possible thing is going to happen. Poor concentration and focus. I have had very few actual relationships but many sexual partners. The other main thing is that I really struggle to connect with fellow men. I am pretty sure this comes down to my relationship with my father.

Now with alot of work I am now a pretty confident guy and improved most aspects of my general life. However I know something is missing. I feel I have the ability within me to connect better with others and that is what I am trying to achieve.

I wonder if anyone might know what type of attachment disorder I may be suffering from? My initial thought was that I am an avoidant? Or maybe a mixture of a couple??

Any feedback is much appreciated. Thanks
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Re: What type of attachment disorder do I have?

Postby Pisces27 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:25 pm

I think Avoidant Attachment would be the outcome of this, but possibly also anxious tendencies or just disorganized depending on how exactly you were treated. Look up "covert incest" regarding the over protective mother, she might have psychologically used you as a partner as her husband was an alcoholic. She was likely co-dependent if she has stayed with him. Toxic Parents would be a good book to read and I like Pete Gerlach's youtube series on these issues. He has a corresponding website. Unfortunately the tone is not so good but the info is very helpful for probably many people on this forum. I have also had alcoholic parents and a narcissistic stepmother, who is overly intrusive to her own kids but luckily not me. I was mainly left alone by everyone. I have secure attachment somehow but lean towards anxious, as I chased after avoidants before. But I've come to realize the toxic cycle in this and try to avoid it.
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