Spinocerebellar Ataxia (SCA)

I believe I have the rare disease below. I will let Wikipedia describe what it is.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinocerebellar_ataxia

I have lived most of my 68 years with psychological difficulties caused from childhood sexual abuse. I take Zoloft and bupropion to combat depression. I began having strokes at 55. I have had 3 MRIs which show brain atrophy. I have many of the symptoms of SCA. I see a neurologist on July 20 to possibly get a diagnosis, which can take years to get.

The point is not long after I had a small stroke in the brain stem I visited my daughter. After missing my Zoloft for a few days and drinking a martini I blew up and had a total meltdown, screaming at my daughter that she will be a terrible mother because she is emotionally so cold. The whole story is too long and complicated to get into here. But this ruined our relationship. So I have this guilt plus disability looming in my future. I thank the scientists for the anti-depression medication, and gardening, that get me through the day.

My last and first post of my rare disease was not very helpful. Spinocerebellar ataxia is a nightmare disease. You progressively lose the ability to control your muscles, namely, your arms (fingers)and legs ending up in a wheelchair unable to feed yourself because your arms are spasming and your fingers constantly drop things. It is progressive with no cure. It's different for each sufferer including age of onset and rate of progression. Your cerebellum is atrophying. It appears at a rate of about 5 people per 100,000 and can come on with no known cause or it can be hereditary meaning your children have a 50% chance of inheriting it. A common symptom is difficulty swallowing because of which sufferers die from choking. So do your problems feel any lighter yet? I wasted my life with the crap I referenced in my first post. Guess what..(note to self...nobody cares. I am resigned and appreciative of every beautiful day when I can contribute.