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Help *may trigger*

Open Discussions About Rape Trauma Syndrome.

Help *may trigger*

Postby Jane91 » Tue May 16, 2017 9:59 pm

Hello,

I am at my whits end and would appreciate some advice.
My girlfriend was abused by her uncle when she was younger, she confided in her mum who at the time did not believe her, she started acting up as a child and was put in to care, she took the wrong path and started heavy drinking along with drugs, she openly admitted she didn't care about herself or what the consequences of her actions would be, after a day of drinking she decide to part with her "drinking buddies" and walk home, she was raped and left under the subway beaten and raped,

We have been together over a year and she opened up to me a few months ago as we was arguing a lot and I couldn't understand why she was constantly angry, every time we argued she would finish me.

Recently she started and argument over nothing and told me she doesn't want to be with me.

When I questioned this she told me she felt nothing towards me.

We have recently spoke and she has opened up and said she has no feelings towards anyone and right now she hates the world.

She says she knows she loves me deep down but can't be in a relationship with me as I deserve better.

I have begged and begged her to take me back and I will help her but she said she doesn't know what's wrong with her and doesn't know if the feelings will come back.

She now has a good relationship with her mum and has for a few years since my girlfriend was diagonised with a brain tumour.

I understand it must be hard for her but she keeps lashing out at me and telling me she doesn't want me and she wants to be left alone, she has had little contact with friends or family as she says she feels the same towards them.

She has turned to drink, her words " drink makes her forget what a mess up she is"

She recently went out with friends and got drunk and kisssd another girl.

I don't understand why she would do that if she doesn't want a relationship, she said it meant nothing and it's me she loves but she says she can't keep doing this to me as she will end up tying my life aswell.

I really do not want to lose her, she is refusing to see a therapist as she says they do not help, she won't talk to me about it and when I try she lashes out and tells me to leave.


Please can you help me understand what is going on, why has she ended our relationship when I was only trying to help her!
Last edited by seabreezeblue on Tue May 16, 2017 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: added trigger warning to title.. no further changes.
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Re: Help *may trigger*

Postby Terry E. » Fri May 19, 2017 3:31 am

Wow you really won the lottery didn't you.

You are obviously here because you suspect PTSD. I suggest reading up on child abuse PTSD. Sex abuse and physical. Search Blue Knot Foundation ( a Child abuse foundation in Australia), they have possibly the best resources on it on the web. They also have a very strong leaning to sex abuse

If you love her please take some time to read.

The no feelings and hating the world is often part of being a survivor. I may get put in the naughty corner, but it may be the line between significant abuse and the lesser level. Anger is often a constant companion and can be with us for many, many years. After all anger is caused by feelings tat something is unfair. I would say she has the right to be angry. (You can tell I am not a professional can't you)

Believe it or not sex abuse survivors being raped is not uncommon. That background leads to possibly, drugs, alcohol, high levels of risk taking, (related possibly to low self esteem). That high risk taking leads to regrettable choices, more self esteem damage, and so the spiral con continue.

Often deep depression that meds don't help that much as it is not a chemical imbalance in the brain, it is that life has really been crap.

This is not a normal relationship that you are in. Many abnormal relationships can have happy outcomes, many normal ones by comparison are pretty boring.

From what you say, my guess is that she cars. Have a think about what you wrote. It sure looks that way.
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