I feel raped

I don't know the words for what was done to me. I got into a relationship with a pathological liar who eventually got me pregnant. I didn't even have his real name after 4 years, my daughter's legal name is ...made up? He was(n't) in Iraq, he wasn't an orphan, all these horrendous lies that I discover after she's born. Now he's got joint custody and threatens me, torments me except without crossing the line to criminal so that there is literally no legal recourse, I'm forced to share my child with a man I feel raped me somehow, AND despite the fact that he pays 0 in child support... I feel ...trapped.

I am so sorry you have had such a terrible experience that cannot easily be fixed. I would advise to keep your head up and try to seek help in whatever way is possible. Don't give up! You have every right to seek happiness and your child deserves to have hope in this life too. I'm sorry he has hurt you in the past and continues to hurt you even now. Like I said before, try to find some type of help so that you can better deal with this situation and for now, don't carry this burden alone, talk to others who actually understand you and sympathize with you in 3D. Hugs if wanted. Please let us know how it continues.

Do you feel as though he raped you because he lied to you? Regardless he sounds like an ass. Take the kid and move far.

I say raped because I don't know another word for it. I feel like he got inside me and destroyed a part of me. I don't know how to describe being completely mind-f***ed. Rape seems to describe it. And I have to share my child with him. I can't run. I can't get out. I have to face this monster every week and smile when she says daddy. And I have to because he won. He wins. He gets to do destroy me and proves he controls me. Forever. I feel ######6 raped..

and you will feel raped as long as you let him.

love your daughter, keep her safe, watch her grow into an amazing person and think "I did that".

Take time, heal and find real love.

oh and the father in these situations has almost zero influence on child development, (that is what the professionals tell us) so she is what you make of her

Anynamewilldo wrote:I say raped because I don't know another word for it. I feel like he got inside me and destroyed a part of me. I don't know how to describe being completely mind-f***ed. Rape seems to describe it. And I have to share my child with him. I can't run. I can't get out. I have to face this monster every week and smile when she says daddy. And I have to because he won. He wins. He gets to do destroy me and proves he controls me. Forever. I feel ######6 raped..

You can run and get out, it just won't be easy. Take you stuff and go to a shelter. Make up an excuse for why you're going out or call a parent. Do it while he is away. The reason I asked this question is because I was curious as to if what he did to you was without consent. If he did sexually assaulted you he is a monster.

I appreciate it but I did run. We're separated thank God but he's got me legally. He threatened custody and had his visitations enforced so that if I don't comply I could lose her completely. He's manipulated and twisted my head, blackmailed me, and basically broke me. He doesn't care about her it's just control. As far as consent, I guess that's why I liken it to rape, who I thought he was didn't exist, he was a complete fraud down to his name, everything he ever told me was a lie and went as far as to impregnate me to keep me believing it. When it all came out I felt violated I guess, years of mental abuse and now a lifetime of repercussions

I strongly urge you to look up narcissistic abuse and personality disorders - narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy, although it doesn't really matter which category a disordered person fits into. The way you feel and the things you describe strongly fit the patterns of this kind of abuse. Try psychopathfree forum and the Institute for Relational Harm. You will find plenty of information. People coming out of these simulacra of relationships often describe them as soul rape and the feeling of sexual rape can also be strong. They are fraudulent from the word go and leave victims like shells of themselves. The advice to get over it and move on cannot help a survivor of this before she understands what has happened to her and goes through the long healing process, with the necessary support and understanding. I wish you luck, I've been there, and you can survive, but you need help and recognition.