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Partner Having Violent Night Terrors

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Partner Having Violent Night Terrors

Postby KJude » Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:13 am

My partner of two years, Cas and I have been essentially living together for three months and sleeping together nearly every night for a year or so. Very early on in our relationship, Cas revealed to me that they had been raped multiple times by an ex-boyfriend. I am a survivor of sexual abuse myself, so there were a lot of obstacles we had to overcome to have a healthy relationship, sexual or otherwise. Cas has suffered from occasional flashbacks/night terrors ever since their assault. Up until now, the night terrors have only happened every couple of weeks, and are usually somewhat physical, but never violent. The last few weeks, the night terrors have gotten more frequent and increasingly more physical. We aren't sure what would cause that other than an increase in stress in other areas of our life. Typically Cas will toss and turn, sometimes curling up/becoming very tense, but recently they've become rougher and more verbal, even occasionally pushing/pulling me. Two days ago, Cas had a particularly bad night, waking up more than once, frightened and disoriented. Very early in the morning, Cas got very panicked/distressed, still asleep. I moved closer to try and calm them down, when Cas sat up, seemingly half-awake, and pushed me to the wall, pinning me there. At first I didn't understand, but then they said something along the lines of "You're hurting me." and I realized they must still be asleep. Cas continued holding me, pushing me again against the wall until I was able yell and to shake their arm to wake them up. They let go of me immediately, very confused. When I explained what happened, Cas was completely mortified. They had had a particularly vivid nightmare of an assault, and had no idea what they were doing, still unconscious. I assured them that they weren't at fault, and it hasn't happened again yet, but we are both somewhat worried that Cas will unintentionally get violent again. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? We aren't sure how to proceed and we'd really appreciate advice. I'm willing to try just about anything to alleviate my partner's suffering and keep us safe together.
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