by seekingClarity » Fri Oct 23, 2015 8:29 pm
Honestly I'm not sure what to tell you, but I wanted to say you're not alone.
I know how that is. I had a period where I had a lot of nightmares, to a point where for weeks at a time I would wake up crying and even went onto throwing up sometimes.
I don't remember anything specific that helped, other than getting better. For me that was the moment when after long denial I started really accepting that I had gone through something horrible. And that's when I started having more nightmares and flashbacks and the black holes in my memory from that night started getting filled. Until that moment I remembered the begining, the end, and a a memory from the "between" here and there, but with lots of black holes in it. I read that finally remembering those means that your brain is finally ready to remember, so although it seems you feel worse, it's actually a good thing. That you're ready to process things.
I spend few months working on recovering from my depression, trying to take care of myself(as best as I could) and venting out all that I was remembering and thinking about(I wrote in forums, I wrote an anonymus blog, I journaled daily. Every memory that was killing me I put on paper, in detail). Eventually the nightmares started to decrease and become more and more rare. Now I get one or two of them very rarely and I am much happier and grounded so it's easier to realize it's just a nightmare and being happy that I've woken up.