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Unsure of what to think

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Unsure of what to think

Postby BelleIdds » Mon Feb 23, 2015 9:55 am

I'm very new to this and just feel like I need to ge this off my chest. It's been almost a year and I feel silly for still dwelling on it. I don't mean to dwell but it makes it difficult when I have the same nightmare every night. I was raped by an old aquaintance and it really took me by surprise. I haven't told anyone about it and I thought that I would have been over it by now but I think it's getting worse. I feel nauseas all the time and all it takes is someone to smell like him for me to re live it all in my head. I work all the time and don't have spare time to see a professional, I feel silly for even thinking that I should see someone. I just want to feel strong and in control but I don't, I'm trying to be tough.
This probably all sounds so over the top, I'm sorry if I seem like a weakling I don't mean to whinge I know others have it a lot worse.
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Re: Unsure of what to think

Postby avatar123 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 11:57 am

Belle, I'm sorry that this happened, and also that no one responded sooner to your post. You aren't weak or over the top or whining, this was a serious incident and the symptoms you describe are very common elements of PTSD. It's not at all surprising that you would have them.

They arise often after traumatic events, especially for people who try to power-through using reserves of personal strength. You think you're tough enough not to deal with them, and can just forget and move on, and you might even be successful for awhile. But this can be a mistake, as the unresolved issues linger and are triggered again & again, sometimes with increasing frequency. This is obviously bad because the triggers are usually outside of your control, and you can't stop the flood of emotions & sensations from the traumatic experience when they happen.

If it's at all possible for you to get counseling, I would highly recommend it. If you get this out in the open and deal with it consciously, your subconscious won't be triggered as easily, which brings things more under your control. Also your counselor can show you techniques for dealing with the triggers.

Especially I think it's good to not deal with something like this alone. Being assaulted is an intensely personal thing, which people naturally try to conceal because of the vulnerability it creates. But in so doing, they can cut themselves off from the support they could otherwise receive from others around them. So talking to a counselor would be a good first step. I hope you will. Feel free to post back here as well. Again, I'm sorry you're going through this.
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Re: Unsure of what to think

Postby H3llvena » Mon Feb 29, 2016 1:47 pm

It's definitely not weird, wrong or even uncommon to still "dwell on it", as you call it. I still do after 8 years. Therapy really can help, though, so I would recommend to try and make some time for it, even if it may only help a bit. I also found it very helpful to look up symptoms of PTSD and coping techniques.
PTSD, AS, social anxiety, psychotic, DDNOS, chronically depressed
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