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What have just happened?

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What have just happened?

Postby ThoMF » Sun Apr 15, 2018 7:05 pm

Hello everyone.
I never thought that I would ever have to write something like this.
Background: I am a gay man of 20 years.
Today... I don't even know how to start. I was in my apartment. I was alone. Someone knocks my door. It's my neighbor asking me for some yerba mate (some "herb" to make a popular drink here in my country). I told him that I don't have any of it.
Before all of this, even before asking for the herb, he said "Ah, you're alone."
(I live with my mother, but she's wasn't here at that moment)
From there I already felt something was off. I don't know, I felt uncomfortable.
He went away. I keep doing my things. He returns after two or three minutes.
"You're in Grindr, aren't you?", he asks me.
I said yes, confused. I felt even more uneasy.
The guy literally gets into my apartment and closes the door.
"We can have a little secret, right? You and I. Nobody else has to know."
He asks me about my sex life. Until then, things were JUST uncomfortable, I don't like to talk about sex. I never had a partner, or anything. "Oh, then you have never been with a man"
Things started to get weird at that point. He approached me... and here begins the part that I am still "processing", and I don't know how to feel, or think about it.
He gets "flirty". But not in a good way.
I told him that I felt uncomfortable. I KEEP SAYING TO HIM THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING, THAT I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE.
He replied with "C'mon, you have to learn somehow ..."
Well... I don't want to go into details. I will summarize it: I did "things" that he told me I had to do. He even grabbed my hand to do "that." He begins to touch me. I was petrified, somehow.
All the time he keeps telling me that I "had to learn", "that it was our secret".
Then, he asked me to things a little bit more "inside my body"... you know what I'm talking about.
I told him no. "Oh, come on. Then, I'm not going to touch you, I just want to see"
He lied about not touching me. I keep telling him I didn't felt comfortable.
"C'mon. Get down to my apartment for a little while. Your mom is about to arrive, right? Then I'll have to go. Come with me" I repeat to him that I didn't want to.
He keeps pushing me to not leave him like "that" ... and it happens. I continue "with what I have to do to learn" i.e. what he wanted to. He is "satisfied" now. He leaves, but seems frustrated. Then he says, "You're so cute" and he's gone.
During the whole "situation" I felt uncomfortable, scared. I didn't felt good. I felt so confused. I didn't knew what to say. I swear, the words struggled to come out from my mouth. I felt like a scared child. I don't know. What happened?
At every moment, the guy treated me like a child. Telling me what I had to do to him, because "I have to learn"... He's 29 years old, almost 30.
The only reason why nothing more happened, and things don't get more scary and why he "accepted" my NO (from what I can guess now) is because the guy was afraid that my mother would show up at any moment. I don't know what happened. I don't know how to feel.
He's my neighbor. He knowns me since I was born. I don't know. i told him every-single-time how uncomfortable I was. At same time, I was so "gone" and confused, and scared that I just can't... fight back?
Seriously, I don't what happened. I didn't ask him to do anything. I didn't ask him to come to my apartment.
Was it rape? Sexual Assault? Was my it my fault for being stupid, letting this happen? I will appreciate any words.
ThoMF
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Re: What have just happened?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sun Apr 15, 2018 8:17 pm

whatever happened here, it certainly wasn't consensual, and assuming that your authorities would be sympathetic, you should report this incident.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: What have just happened?

Postby NewSunRising » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:38 pm

I'm sorry this happened to you ThoMF .

Please , please tell your mother about this as soon as possible . This man assaulted you and none of this is your fault . He intimidated and bullied you into doing something that you didn't want to do . That is not what consenting adults do . It isn't right and it isn't safe .

Keeping this a secret will almost guarantee that he will try again .

Let us know how you're doing , OK ?
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