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Confused about where to go next- resistant to treatment

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Confused about where to go next- resistant to treatment

Postby 5020 » Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:24 pm

I ended therapy after 2 years about 3 months ago. In that time I saw a counsellor for a few sessions, but I have decided to give that up in order to reflect a little before jumping in again.

Throughout the two years there was progress and I feel stronger then I used to in terms of how long self defeating cycles last and my ability to stop myself when I start beating myself up. I attribute that to therapy amongst other things, but it defiantly gave me some sort of base. The issue was I just didn't open up, at all. I would tell some friends more then I would my therapist and this is an ongoing issue.

I seem too easily wanting to reach out for help and work through stuff but when I am there I become resistant. I get annoyed and even if legitimately I don't have the strength to talk that through with my therapist. I think I left that two year relationship with the therapist only having glimpses in to my life and my ability to self reflect, my wants etc.

I still want therapy but I don't know what I really want out of it other then to stop feeling like my own worst enemy. I am not sure I will ever be able to open up to the extent needed to change my habbits and make the progress needed for me to at least be content. I don't know if I should go back to my old T because at least they know part of my story and I wont be starting from scratch. Or whether that is exactly what I need because we simply did not have the chemistry.
5020
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