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Fearful of Falling Asleep?? Somniphobia.

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Fearful of Falling Asleep?? Somniphobia.

Postby JusticeXI » Mon May 02, 2022 7:56 am

Do you like being in a mania or hypomania state? But when you go to sleep it could all end waking up with Manic Depression. Here's my story how I became fearful of falling asleep or Somniphobia. I've been off my meds and when this happens, I usually get manic or experience hypomania in which I can do anything even elevate to a higher consciousnesses. I vibrate at a high frequency’s that will make electronics go haywire. I can even start to manifest certain things into my life. However just like everything else what has a beginning must have an end. When it ends, its so over and I mean it’s over to the point of complete opposites.

I can no longer be that sharp witty employee or do the important things in my life like cooking food or paying my bills or anything that requires the slightest bit of energy. I won't clean my house or go grocery shopping or even talk on the phone. I get stuck in bed for days and everything I worked on comes to a complete stop.

This makes me feel inadequate or being a big failure. Lately my depression has gotten worse and the sad part is I never know when exactly it will happen. Sometimes I wake up feeling so horrible that it’s easy to say I wish I was dead than to feel like this. Then one-night it hit me. If I just don't go to sleep it will continue perhaps for one or two more days. With my mind going into a racing thoughts mode, its easy to stay on this pace even if I try to sleep, I can't because I'm just to wound up. The first time I tried it, wow it worked just like I thought. The next morning I was a little slow but after a good breakfast and some juice I was right back on track. I didn’t feel bad I felt great.

So now its been 6 months and I try to stay awake for a least one or two more days then the following night. When I do I go to sleep its very late and only with the help of my night meds. I ran out of my night meds so now It's going to be a very bumpy road with the possibility of a complete breakdown. Not knowing how depressed I’m going to feel, how long, or how intense it will be. I'm borderline psychotic now from a lack of sleep. I want to say I'm thinking clearly but I'm not able to make sound judgements. I not too worried because I'm the king of procrastination. So far that’s what has worked for me in my life. Just let go and Let God.
JusticeXI
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