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don't know what to do

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don't know what to do

Postby Rose22 » Tue May 24, 2005 7:21 am

I think I might be deppressed but I'm terrified to tell anyone. Just posting this message was REALLY hard for me to do. My daugter's 2 1/2 months old. And I just don't seem to be enjoying her presence here. I would never do anything to hurt her. My boyfriend has so much fun with her, he just loves her to death, but I really can't say I feel the same way, and it's really starting to scare me. I refuse to tell this to my bf, even though I think he know's somethings wrong. My doctor's asked me a few times now if i've been feeling deppressed, but I just keep telling her I'm fine.
I just don't know what to do. I can't eat, or sleep, and I feel sick all the time. I don't have many friends, but the one's I do have I can't talk to about this, they don't have kids, they would never understand.
Sorry if I'm rambling, but I just really needed to get this off my chest.
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Postby sweetngentle » Tue May 24, 2005 8:14 am

It sounds like you may have post partum depression. I would go to your doctor and discuss this with him. He/she will be able to tell you wheher or not you are suffering fro post partum depression. It might also be recommended that you take a small dose of a anti depressent till you get safely beyond these first few months with your new baby.
Kathy
Blessed are those
who can give without
remembering, and take
without forgetting.
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thanx anyways

Postby Rose22 » Wed May 25, 2005 4:50 am

I was at my doctors today, but I just could work up the nerve to mention it to her. I've been doing a lot of research about ppd, and I really think I might have it. I could check off just about every syptom on the list.

I was on Paxil befor for socail anxiety disorder. My doctor gave my a bunch of sample packs. And once they started to work I felt so great, but then I ran out and I was to afriad to ask for more.

Thanx a lot for the advice, but I think I'll just try to deal with it on my own.
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Postby Guest » Sat May 28, 2005 2:31 pm

After I had my son I suffered from depression and was on anti depressents, it was all caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain so to help yourself you may well need the medicines.
I found then non habit forming and when they did their job I was able to leave them off with no ill effects. It took a while but now I'm back as good as before.
The hardest thing is admitting to the problem (which you have already done) and asking for help.
Please give it a try as this time when they are small goes so quickly it is a pity to miss out.
Thinking of you.
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went to my doctor

Postby Rose22 » Sun May 29, 2005 5:49 am

I went to my doctor's the other day. I didn't even have to say anything about ppd, she just guessed it. She said I look very depressed.
She gave me Effexol, and said they'd take about a week to start working.
I hope they work, cause right now i'm feeling pretty useless. I so badly just want to pack up and leave.
My boyfriend's better with the baby than I am, so I know she'd be fine, if I did leave.
I just don't know what to do. I can't deal with the baby along with all the other crap that's come up. I just can't stand feeling this way. I should love my daugter, and not just pretend to, But that's just what I've been doing these last few months...pretending.
Sorry again for rambling, but after almost 3 months of living in misery, I've finally been able to talk about everything I've been feeling.
(And I know how horrible it sounds to say that I don't love my own child, but I just can't help how I feel.)
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Postby juwat99 » Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:32 pm

I am new to this site, but when I read your post I felt like I needed to write. I do not know if you are still checking your messages, as your post is three months old, but I wanted to know how things are going with you. Your baby should be about six months old now, right? First thing that I wanted to let you know was that it is NOT TRUE that the second your baby is born, unequivocal love just mysteriously happens. It takes time, and patience, for a bond to grow stronger, for love to take over. I am a mother of three children, and have suffered post-partum depression after the first and third {kinda wierd that nothing happened after the second child!}. After the first, my husband and doctor kind of backed me into a corner into admitting that I needed help. I ended up going into a hospital for a few days, and believe me, the sleep I was able to get seemed to help more than the medication! I did go on meds for a short time, a couple of months, and life eventually evened out. I have done nothing after my third, who is almost a year old. Other family issues have taken over, and not helped in my general depression. Anyway, having a child is a MAJOR life adjustment! The more support that you have {and your boyfriend sure sounds like a big help} the better. I hope that you have found someone to talk to about this, maybe a family member or close friend, if not your doctor. Talking about it and being armed with information is very helpful. I hope that you will write back, and let me know how things are going now, months later, if you are adjusting to motherhood or if things are about the same.
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things are better

Postby Rose22 » Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:55 pm

Things are MUCH better now. I started seeing about 3 different counsellers, and I'm on anti deppresents and other pills to help me sleep. I did get really really bad for a while there but my boyfriend is amazing so he's been a BIG help. But like I said, much better now. I havn't felt this great in a LONG time actually. My daughters 5 1/2 months now and doing great!
Thanks for your concern
Rose
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